11 Years

Dear Addie,

It took 11 years, but there we were, checking off “baby’s first haircut” from the list of milestones.

Yes, you read that right… here we are at long last!

Milestones – they are a funny thing, aren’t they? There are a bunch of them (for everything); by definition, they are an action or event marking a significant change in development. They can often be seen as the nemesis of our special needs world where we are constantly being compared to what we are falling short on. I always try to find common ground with neurotypical families, but it’s here where parenting special needs takes a gut punch – milestones.

You see Addie, after a diagnosis of anything that strays from “normal” child development – we are almost instantly presented with milestones our children may not reach.

If I’m being honest, I don’t think it’s meant in a negative fashion, but more so as a reality check to better prepare us for the journey ahead. Side note: if you’ve spent any time with a special needs parent, that reality check lights a fire of ambition to find a way to do all things, but we can’t always do it on our own.

Ok, back on track… it took 11 years, but there you sat, surrounded by daddy, Clara, and me, clenching your toy of choice – an extra long drinking straw (don’t ask), as Autumn wasted no time getting to work on tidying up your long, thick, locks.

I was almost in disbelief this was happening. This was a legit milestone that I didn’t think we’d see, but here we were, 11 years in getting your first salon or as I call it “not at home with Walgreens scissors WWF style wrestling match” haircut.

Now don’t get me wrong, Daddy has done a solid job cutting your hair up until now, but we were at the point of needing a professional to thin it out making it less tangly and easier to wash & brush. Sounds easy enough right? Surely YouTube can teach you, no? Um, yeah, no.

While YouTube has helped us fix shower handles, leaky pipes, dishwashers, and a number of other things putting layers in your hair with sharp scissors without any “official” hair training did not feel like a DIY situation I wanted to try (sorry Daddy :)). As luck would have it, we were presented with a situation that felt like the pieces were falling into place and checking off this milestone was really going to happen, but let me back up just a bit.

A few weeks ago big sister Clara decided she was ready for a change! She wanted to donate her long, ginger locks to someone in need and take on the world with a new fresh, short ‘do going back to high school. Not a stranger to this process, as she’s done it a few times, we went back to the hairdresser we’d seen a few years before. She had 11 inches removed then and a super cute cut to boot so it was a no-brainer to return.

We had a night appointment and it would be you and me sitting in the waiting area for Clara to finish up. I felt prepared with sensory toys and snacks, but honestly, there’s only so much you can prepare for when going into a situation like this. Luckily for us, there was only one other person getting their hair done in the salon at the time.

As we sat there, you couldn’t help but feel calm. The atmosphere is like a spa (no offense to Supercuts or similar places with their florescent lights and sterile white walls) and Ms. Carrie at the front desk was as sweet as they come with keeping us engaged in small talk during Clara’s appointment. Not thinking too much into this visit, it was quick, we made it through without a scene, Clara’s hair was SUPER cute and she talked the whole next week about how easy it was to maintain. It got me thinking about how I wanted your hair to be easy as well…for all of us because Lord knows it’s a struggle now.

I called the salon to see if our beloved Autumn would take you on as a client, and she happily obliged and we spoke briefly about how to make this work for all involved. An appointment scheduled far in advance, early in the morning, with us washing hair at home was the plan of action. We’d visit the salon once more for Clara before your appointment and this is when I knew we had made the right choice.

Much of the same waiting scene only Ms. Carrie showed up as we were heading out. She saw us and indicated that she had a stash of pink and red starburst in her locker for you. Taken back by the gesture, I said “really?” I mean she had literally only seen us that one time, she said she saw you enjoying them on your last visit and wanted to have them for when you came back. Addie, there are times when you are so overwhelmed by kindness. It washes you over with waves of gratitude and happiness. This was one of those times. For the record, I cried when I got in the car. Side note: Come to find out Ms. Carrie is a special needs mama as well so she had an unspoken connection to us almost immediately.

Fast forward to your turn.

This weekend held a milestone that was 11 years in the making. I watched you sit, not exactly still (or quiet for that matter) while Autumn did what she does best and helped make our life easy and less tangly, quickly, and efficiently.

Addie, they didn’t have to say yes to helping us, they didn’t have to accommodate us the way they did – truth none of us knew exactly how this was all going to play out or if we’d even be able to check that box at the end, but they wanted to try. They wanted to help and for families like ours, it gives us a chance to feel like we are not falling short. We will always be forever grateful to the Jay Andrews Salon & Spa in Apex for giving us a chance to check this box and for making our lives a little bit easier. Sometimes it does take a village.

Great Job Addie.

Love,

Mom