JULY 15, 2016
Dear Addie
For as long as I can remember you have always enjoyed lining things up! From oranges, magnet letters, crayons, our family bicycle helmets....the list goes on. It's probably one of the biggest trademark signs (besides the whole lack of communication and stimming thing) that identifies you with autism. But I assume that not very many people understand why you do this!
It's kind of like this....
Every habit, doesn't matter what it is has 3 simple components. A cue (triggers the habit to start), a routine (the actual behavior), and the reward (why your brain continually makes you do these behaviors).
For example, you see a huge pile of colorful balls spread all over the yard. Too many and too large of a space to process all of them! Here comes the cue, your anxiety kicks in and you try to figure out how to interpret the excessive amount of balls all around you. The routine begins, you start by selecting one of each color, skillfully lining them next to each other so you may see them in one glance. The reward....once you've identified that there was only 6 colors, the mess of balls everywhere no longer seemed as stressful. But here's the catch, you need those 6 to stay there, untouched as your reminder of the order that the mess of colorful balls in the yard possesses. In this situation one of every color was sufficient.
I've seen you line up your fisher price little people... we have a TON of them, and you literally throw (or banish as we jokingly say) duplicate princesses to the other side of your room! They never saw it coming!!! But, they ruined your line up so they had to go!
I can sympathize! When I do laundry....too much laundry....everyday, the pile of dirty clothes looks like Mount Everest! Here's the cue, doubt, frustration, it's never gonna get done! Insert routine, I start breaking it down and sorting into darks and lights and before I know it, my reward is there. It all of a sudden looks completely manageable and I don't have to retire my super mom cape!
So although your habit of lining things up to find calmness and order in a life that makes you feel anything but, isn't what people would call the "norm"....We are all the same in how our habits are formed.
So do your thing girl. Line it up! ...and find your reward.
Love,
Mom
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