Dear Addie,
And all your distraught little voice could say was “a purple? A purple? A purple?” Each time you said it sounded increasingly more stressed and we were clueless as to what it was that was in fact purple that you so desperately needed.
But let me back up a bit...
It was a well thought out and planned Saturday morning (perhaps that should’ve been our first clue that something was going to go astray.) We were in a divide and conquer state of mind this weekend and you were headed to the beach with daddy and Clara, while Gabe and I would follow with the dogs on Sunday. The Jeep was packed and you were all buckled in. Gabe had recognized you had left a small pile of toys you’d been gathering earlier in the morning on the counter, so being the thoughtful and amazing big brother he is, he grabbed everything and took it out to you.
Now if you know me you know I love a good quote, and there are plenty of quotes about “good deeds,” but the one that was best suited here was without question “a good deed never goes unpunished.” Oye.
That's right Addie, this ever-so-sweet gesture from your loving brother is when the sh!t officially hit the fan, springing us into the start of what would soon be the longest 45 min witch hunt with minimal clues the 4 of us had ever attempted.
“A purple.”
The only thing you could frantically give us initially was “a purple.” What would turn out to be equally not so helpful were the words “help her!” which would eventually follow. So our carefully planned divide and conquer took a back seat to a not so quick game of Clue - only lucky for us I was quite confident no one had died from a candlestick in the library ;) so there was that.
Ok, so where were we?
We knew something you were missing was purple and “help her” is something you say when something has fallen and you can’t seem to reach it. So you believe whatever it was has fallen somewhere in the Jeep, and it was only after Gabe had handed you a handful of small toys.
I remember thinking, OK we got this, operation search the Jeep for something purple! And go!
Your face was now red, sweaty, and flushed as you were hunched over feverishly looking around on the floor, only getting more and more upset with every passing minute. Unfortunately, even with all hands on deck and our stellar dream team search party on the case, we came up short with no one finding (or seeing) anything purple on the floor or underneath the seats.
At this point, the meltdown was in full swing and our neighbors (or anyone passing by) were surely wondering what on earth was going on now?!
For the next 45+ minutes, we went up and down the stairs about a hundred times, in and out of every room, looked under a sea of misfit toys, and deflated Wubbles to come up with many purple objects but not THE purple object that was missing.
This is when dad had decided maybe you would calm down once you were on the road. Honestly, I thought that was quite a gamble for a 3+ hour road trip, but daddy has the patience of a saint so I trusted all would be OK.
With you still very upset I kissed you goodbye, close the door, and off y’all went.
I walked inside and just stood in the kitchen for a moment. Meltdowns are not only exhausting for you, but everyone involved. As I was gathering my thoughts as to what had just occurred, and what needed to be done for the day, Clara came unexpectedly running in yelling “a purple bird!” And just like that, it wasn’t over because we were gifted with another clue. She said “A purple bird!” Let the search resume!!!
Clara, Gabe, and I literally stood looking at each other in the kitchen and went over every clue...
Gabe handed you toys, you are missing something purple, you thought it fell on the floor, and now it’s a bird.
I then said Ok y’all we are looking for a purple bird? And that’s when this story took a turn.
Clara said NO! We are looking for Twilight Sparkle!
Surely there was no denying the utter confusion on mine and Gabe’s faces. We were like Twilight what-what??? But Addie if there is one thing you should know about your sister Clara, is she is always full of random facts & knowledge, and is really good at the game Clue! Like really good. Truth.
She looked at Gabe and then started unraveling the clues like it was the end of who done it Sherlock Holmes mystery movie.
Clara: “Gabe what did you hand her before all this happened?”
Gabe starts rattling off objects and then says in that...
Gabe: "...a pink and orange my little pony."
Clara then full of random knowledge solves the mystery.
Clara: “It’s Twilight Sparkle! Gabe you handed her the toys. She notices the purple pony is not with the rest - giving us our first clue of “a purple.” Then she assumes all the ponies were surely together so it must’ve fallen on the floor - next (somewhat useless) clue of - “help her.” Drive away and then she starts saying - “purple bird!” Twilight Sparkle is the My Little Pony with wings which is why Addie is saying bird!"
Insert Gabe and I staring at your sister Clara like we are literally living with the next Enola Holmes.
We then started our search once again (only with a bit more confidence) for the very specific and missing Twilight Sparkle pony.
With our search still coming up with nothing, and with us now all confident we knew what we’re looking for, Daddy thought maybe it was actually left at the beach and once again was in the camp of let’s get on the road and see what happens.
While you and daddy were waiting on Clara to return to the car something told me to search my van just one more time. As I looked around your seat area and in the trunk, something drew me to look in the stow and go - it was a long shot but also probably the only place not looked at in all this. As Clara was walking her way back down the driveway to get in the Jeep, I pulled the seat from inside the floor of the van and with an audible gasp – there it was… Twilight Sparkle was no longer missing. That's right Ad, the only thing in there was this purple, bird pony.
I grabbed it, squealed with excitement way too much for what it was, and ran to give it to you! It literally felt like the end of a mission impossible movie with time running as Clara was walking to the Jeep. Found within only seconds from y’all leaving for the second time almost empty-handed.
You instantly stopped crying and set it next to it’s orange and pink friends in the car. A very anticlimactic reunion for what had endured really.
Pretty sure this time we were officially all spent.
Truth Ad, I too have had these feelings where I knew something was lost, and no matter how hard I try to just say “I’ll find it later”, it nags at me the whole day. I know the feeling of being anxious all too well and It’s very unsettling. I’m very sorry you had to have these feelings, and everyone truly manifests anxiety differently. There’s no right or wrong way to do it, we just learn to cope over time. For you having minimal vocabulary in such times makes it all the more frustrating for you I'm sure.
At the end of the day you knew it was missing, and with your sister solving the mystery, a dedicated search crew, and the grace of God or my subconscious kicking in I decided to look in the most obscure place, and low and behold it was finally found.
We are happy you are now happy (or relieved might be the better word) baby girl. Always remember sweet girl, no matter what you’re feeling or how bad you are feeling in the moment we are here for you, with you, always.
One team, one dream.
Love,
Mom
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