Dear Addie,
There I was looking at yet another “last” on our journey and all I could think about was time. Something that I seem to hold a love/hate relationship with on this journey. Of course, living in the moment surely is always the ultimate goal, but so much of our lives are measured in time whether we like it or not. Most of us walking this path are here all because of not meeting something at a certain time in growth & development early on. That lack of meeting only brings us to a place of so much waiting, but almost an uneasiness of the unknown time ahead for a seemingly different reason in a life where our time as parent and child are not equal in length - thought that is forever present and heavy. It’s all about time. How much has passed, how much has been wasted, cherished, or yet to come?
Your last elementary school picture was right there, staring back at me. You were smiling and looking a far cry from the anxious & hesitant kindergarten version of yourself that started at this school so many years ago.
There you were, a 5th grader, almost 5’7, smiling and standing still, yes still! An odd mention, I know, but there were no blurry hands or arms documenting the struggles you hold with the inability to be, well, just still. There were no teachers’ arms inevitably making the picture, holding you in place. Nope, just you, standing confident and proud with all the time that had passed.
There you were, a young lady now that could be trusted to find your way to your classroom on your own – even if you do make morning pit stops in the library. There you were looking happy to be there, instead of anxious to leave me. There you were a version of you that I honestly couldn’t have imagined all those years ago, but am nothing but proud of just who you have become.
This week I saw another last of time in your life’s story and was reminded of just how far you have come.
I’m so proud of you Addie.
Love,
Mom
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