A Zen Year

Dear Addie,

There are many different mamas out there, but the one that can schedule well visits on time or even close to their children's birthdays will never be me. Yes, this week, almost four months to the day into your 12th yr of life, we headed to the dr for your annual check-up.

Now with your appointment being late morning, pushing early afternoonish, I decided to keep you home from school - you see, baby girl, we pick and choose our battles, and a potential transition midday from school meltdown to going to a Dr appointment felt honestly like a little more energy than I had to give to what typically is already a stressful yearly visit.

On this day, you woke up relatively calm, but there was a lot of pointing at objects to answer my questions and to indicate your wants and needs. I quickly picked up on talking as a form of communication wasn't going to be your jam today. Yes, we still have nonverbal days with you, and honestly, I get it; sometimes, I don't feel like talking to anyone, either, but I digress.

Now a fun fact about you, energy is everything. Suppose I'm feeling anxious about a situation; you will feel that way too. So I took some super deep breaths and tried to get my headspace in a calm space reminding myself that whatever would happen would happen. For reasons unbeknownst to me, I decided not to take our handy sensory activity bag of tricks in with us, and you walked in with only two big red juicy apples in hand. I didn't even bring a pull-up - which is a rookie mistake when parenting non-toilet-trained kiddos...clearly those extra deep breaths had me feeling pretty zen today. We stood in line to check in; apparently, this was a prime time for appointments as it looked like happy hour at Dave and Buster's. You didn't do any of your usual shenanigans, like reaching behind the counter to answer the phone for the receptionist. Today you had confidence they could handle the task and just stood holding your apples. I remember thinking this is starting well - I'll take it!

Waited in line and checked in - check!

After we checked in, we sat in the waiting room, and I filled out paperwork that always makes me laugh a little bit as it's a laundry list of questions we'd have to have back and forth spontaneous language conversation to know any of the answers. I mean, if I asked you any of these questions about being bullied, having friends, or your mental psyche, you'd more than likely respond with, "Who let the dogs out?!"

Waiting room - check!

We waited just long enough for you to finish both of your apples, and we headed back. First up was height and weight; not surprisingly, you were off the charts. You are now a solid 5 inches taller than me and just two inches shy of the average supermodel ;) I mean, obviously, you're runway bound as you are still growing and beautiful.

Height and weight - check!

We opted out of the hearing test as the giant noise-canceling headphones indeed indicated you have the hearing of an elephant and went straight to the vision screening. We stood far away from a letter chart on the wall as the nurse asked you to say the letter she was pointing at. Since I had not heard a peep out of you today, I imagined this wouldn't go well, but predictably unpredictable as you like to be, you rattled off each tiny letter with complete accuracy. Side note: Mama needs an eye doctor visit as I couldn't see any letters she was pointing to. Oh, the joys of being as old as mommy, Addie. But that's beside the point; next, we headed into the exam room to gather the rest of your vitals, and I'm happy to report all was done without incident, and you were as quiet as a church mouse.

Hearing, vision, vitals - check!

We didn't have to wait long; it was now the doctor's turn. She began by asking me if I had any questions. Kind of a loaded question to ask a parent raising someone with autism, how much time did she really have? After some small talk about a few things, she began your physical exam, and once again, I was a little shocked at the cooperation level. She looked in your ears, at your throat, listened to your heart and lungs, felt your stomach, and even checked for scoliosis with the standard touch-your-toes approach. Side note: I had a hard time keeping it together during the scoliosis test as you were popping up so quickly from touching your toes, and it looked like you were imitating the bend-and-snap move from the Legally Blonde movie.

Physical exam - check!

With your physical exam portion finished, we were in the home stretch now, where vaccinations and a blood draw were set to come on the scene. A whole team had gathered to assist as previous visits required such a presence, but not today, my friend, not today. We were all sorts of zen and you sat completely still, even watched the whole time, not moving or making a single peep but to say, "no fank you," as you peeled the bandaid off and politely handed it back to the nurse where laughter erupted from everyone in the room that with all the needles and tubes of blood it was the band-aide that bothered you the most. Welcome to autism, folks!

Addie - you were a rock star today for sure! You amazed us all with your cooperation and calmness for someone that doesn't like people in your space. Proving once again that you can do hard things, energy is everything, and good or bad every day is predictably unpredictable, and I'm happy it was for the good today ;)

So proud of you! Cheers to 12 - may this be our zen year? I'd take that - just saying.

Love,

Mom