Dear Addie,
Being a special needs parent is like being ON 100% of the time. No joke!
If I wrote a job description I'd be sure to include: must stay alert at all times (better yet - forget sleeping), try not to age because there’s no time to deal with anything that may come along with that (I’m learning that getting older comes with all sorts of physical ailments. No time for that!), possess cat-like speed and reflexes (you never know when a fight or flight moment may occur), and most importantly anticipate a dangerous situation well before it might happen (crystal ball anyone?!)
Now I'm not sure if that is close to mimicking superhero skills, or more similar to a distant vampire cousin of the Cullen Family (Team Edward anyone?), only instead of blood we thrive off of coffee. Side note: I was always on Team Edward, daddy Team Alice for sure ;).
Where was I? Ah yes, I know this may come as a shock to you, but I am not a superhero (or vampire for that matter). I’m just mom. Sleep chasing, aging quicker than anticipated, predicting fear to an anxiety-ridden level, coffee driven - mom. That’s me.
I’ll admit, parenting is a wee bit different than I thought it would be. It's much less of my fairy tale vision with me sitting by an open window in my house with the breeze gently blowing soft white curtains about, while I look out at you all happily running through a wildflower field. Isn’t that everyone’s view of parenthood?
Nope.
Our reality resembles more of an America Ninja Warrior course, and at the end of each night, we exhaustingly make it up the warped wall to push the buzzer! True story! Doesn't matter how bad of a day we have had, we always feel like we won the parenting jackpot with you kiddos! Our dream team forever and always.
Daddy recently bought me this new apple watch for our anniversary and while I'm still technologically not savvy enough to completely understand the ins and outs of it just yet, one feature does count my steps, and I swear I think it may self destruct one of these days. But if I'm being completely transparent here, it also made me feel the teensiest bit more justified in my exhaustion at the end of the day. Apparently, I walk a lot of steps baby girl!
This daily special needs parental workout routine is crazy! I mean seriously - look out Pure Bar I may be on to something here. Climbing stairs, lifting children that are generally beyond lifting years, deep squats to the ever convenient changing table (AKA the floor) it can all keep you fit, but it can also take its toll.
Your bones, muscles, and joints can take a serious beating leaving you compensating your movement in one way or another just to get through the day. A strange gate in your walk, or holding something funny can leave you questioning if you pulled this or strained that. Daddy and I both sound like a bowl of Rice Krispies when we walk up the stairs (you probably don’t get that reference, let’s just say our joints aren’t quiet!) Some bearing witness may even question if we are OK? No worries y'all, it's just parenting. All good!
But ”all good” can only last so long.
Unfortunately, mama needed surgery and it was about to be all hands on deck! Ok, well maybe only one of my hands because it was finger surgery, but everyone else was gonna need to jump in to help a little more than usual. With no time being a good time, summer break was about, to begin with, one man down.
Here we go!
Now luckily for mommy and daddy, you pretty much have the greatest siblings ever and no one complained (well maybe me on day two after surgery of pain, but other than that...) we are blessed beyond measure here Addie! With a pre-teen on summer break, a teenager still riding out the end of the school year and daddy working a full-time job, we worked through routine change better than I could've anticipated!
Gabe stepped in to do your hair, Clara put on and took off your bathing suit a thousand times a day, they both changed wet sheets and put fresh ones on (Finn on the other hand far from helpful), cut up your food and helped with snacks. Anything we asked, they did - and some.
Not being the best of patients daddy kept redirecting me to sit down always reassuring me things were getting done, just to sit and rest and I’d be better than ”all good” in no time!
All this love and teamwork was enough to make my heart swell with happiness.
While I sat with a front row seat watching life moving along for a bit, I couldn't help but feel humbled and reflective (medication induced reflection - perhaps?) I don't ask for help Addie, anyone that really knows me well knows this. I actually struggle even uttering the words themselves! Yet there's a village of people ready and waiting to jump right in! Another common struggle in special needs families, admitting the need for help like its some acknowledgment of failure. I know that's silly right, but true.
This family was working together beautifully (as I knew they would) and I knew I needed not to worry. Neighbors and friends brought sweet treats and get well wishes - clearly they know the way to my heart ;) and I was beyond thankful and dare I say embarrassed at the attention, But it was something else that almost had me in tears (of happiness that is.)
Two of my very dear friends that I've had for years now had shown up not only with lunch, flowers, and homemade carrot cake but also their company for the first time right here to our home. Why was this significant? Addie let me repeat, two VERY good friends, that I've had for years were in my home for the FIRST time.
For the first time!
It took me not being ”all good” to let this village in. They didn't need to help with our day to day (although I'm sure they would've if I needed it) but instead, we ate lunch, laughed, you came down naked wanting your swimsuit on and no one batted an eye at the scene. My soul needed this.
It's hard Ad, our life is chaotically organized and no doubt exhausting. With one man down we still managed to make it up the warped wall each night even if it was Clara or Gabe helping to hit that buzzer. But there was something else that I was reminded of in all this, its not just our joints that need to be good, but our soul too and sometimes that's just what your village is there for. Never forget that Ad. Your soul is just as important as your body.
So with an amazing surgeon ;), our dream team doing what we do best and a much-needed dose of my village - I'll be back on Team Edward before you know it baby girl ;) fire up the coffee pot mama's on the mend!
Love you!
Mom
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