Dear Addie,
Poof... and just like *that* we were being escorted to a back room seemingly tucked away from the main dining area. A room shared by only one other socially distant table of a lovely older couple who were casually sipping wine upon our entrance. My initial reaction? Well, my heart sank. While we can drown out squealing and constant noise, surely this happy wine-sipping couple were probably expecting a quiet holiday meal among the warm glow of this magazine-worthy Christmas ambiance. Maybe we weren’t ready for this? Maybe this was a bad idea after all? How did we even get here?
14 years Addie. I had waited almost 14 years for this moment. To see THIS restaurant, The Angus Barn. I know what you’re thinking - a barn? Really mom? Sounds kind of silly doesn’t it? But this isn’t just any restaurant my love, it’s an award-winning restaurant and truly a holiday spectacular this time of year. A visit here is a holiday tradition for many families. You see Ad, we had moved to North Carolina (the first time) when big sister Clara was just 16 months old. Daddy had been to this amazing restaurant for a work dinner and couldn’t wait to take me there! Life would continue, years would go by, we would move a time or six more, would find our way back to NC, and it was still on our wish list of things to do together. Going out to a fancy dinner seems like a no brainer right?! Hahaha. NOT. But life has a funny way of working out and the timing was never just right until this moment, a few days shy of Clara’s 15th birthday the stars seemed to have aligned perfectly.
Seems funny to say during a global pandemic that the stars aligned perfectly, but it also isn’t the strangest thing that has happened this year. Just saying...
With restrictions in place limiting the number of people in public places and mask mandates, we thought this might be our shot to finally make this happen. Could the "exposure is key" advice for our autism journey really handle a fancy dining experience?
Like most "planned" outings it starts with a call.
A call to get as many details as possible, to explain our family dynamic, to see if this is a realistic endeavor. Having as many details as possible helps us prepare better for the predictably unpredictable reactions that can come along with autism and sensory struggles. Sounds like an oxymoron doesn't it?
Addie, I think it's important to note that had daddy asked me to consider this outing a year ago, heck even 6 months ago, I would've thought maybe he had started the eggnog a little too early, but you have been on such a positive trajectory of handling your emotions and development that it just seemed maybe we were finally ready.
With an early bird dinner time, a quick trip to Target to find something that wasn't "quarantine sweatpants" for everyone, this was really going to happen. We were really going to do this. 14 years in the making.
...and just like that, we were on our way.
The magic literally begins as you pull into the parking lot. The lights twinkling from the trees and the barn is all aglow with Christmas spirit. Even the attendant who greets you inquiring about your reservations looks like a dead ringer of princess Diana - I kid you not! From the hair to her kind eyes and her welcoming sweet voice & personality, we had not even left the van yet and we felt the magic of this place.
Masks on, and our bazillionth pump of hand sanitizer, we headed to the main entrance only to be greeted by someone asking if we'd like a fresh-baked warm gingerbread cookie? Yep, we were a far cry from Chili’s (not that there’s anything wrong with Chili’s) ummmm don't need to ask us twice, yes please, and thank you!
As we entered the restaurant and made our way to the hostess stand there was an audible gasp from Clara and Gabe at the spectacular Christmas decorations. You were equally excited as your stimming was coming fast and furious at this point.
This brings us back to the beginning of my letter.
We sat down and your excitement began to flood into overdrive. I had just removed my mask when the gentleman at the table across from us and I had made contact I mouthed the words “I’m so sorry” to which he mouthed “it’s OK” in reply. He actually looked like your great-grandpa Allar believe it or not, which made it even more serendipitous...
Being a fancier environment than we may be used to as a family, you proceeded to unwrap everyone's silverware like it was Christmas day. Collecting like objects is your jam and there was plenty that you saw needed sorting. We allowed you to continue collecting your newfound like objects of forks, but now daddy had quite the collection of steak knives he confiscated from you next to him.
There was a lot of reminders to use your quiet voice, but no meltdowns or sensory outburst, and the food...oh my word, delicious.
A friendly manager had come over to check on us with a friendly and understanding smile. She then quickly disappeared, only to return with a stuffed puppy toy for you. Sticking with your predictably unpredictable self, you were quite enamored with this small stuffed puppy and proceeded to lay down in your chair and start snoring before trying to cover yourself with your red table napkin as if it was a blanket. We didn't see this scene coming, but no harm no foul. All good.
At this point, the waitress had come by with a surprise cake adorned with candles for big sister Clara's birthday. You immediately stood up and waited patiently for us to stop singing as you were determined to assist Clara in blowing out those candles and perhaps steal a dollop of whipped cream from the middle of her cake!
It was then that the couple we had been sharing a room with got up to leave. I apologized for the noise and for breaking the serene atmosphere they probably were expecting. The gentleman put his mask on and came a bit closer and said directed to you "Is your name Abby or Addie?" to which I said to you "What's your name?" and you wasted no time saying "MISS ADDIE!" he continued to ask you how you liked all the decorations and if you were excited about Christmas? With your response of just the word "Christmas!" and heavy stimming, he smiled, wished Clara a Happy Birthday, and wished us all a very Merry Christmas before leaving the room.
As we were heading out you clung tightly to your new puppy friend while we thanked the hostess and manager for such a wonderful evening.
On our ride home, we continued to talk about how great dinner was and Gabe asked if this could be a new tradition for us? Traditions. Something I never thought much of before until this journey. We've been somewhat accustomed to just getting by day to day. I think I can speak for many families like ours that with the unpredictability of life, traditions usually remain simply an unobtainable idea rather than substance. But I think that's about to change. This may be a perfect new tradition for our family.
It took almost 14 years and a global pandemic to get here, but we finally made it to The Angus Barn, and it was everything and more. I'm so happy that we were all able to experience it together.
Great job Addie.
Love,
Mom
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