Dear Addie, And then you were 9. Happy birthday baby girl! It’s funny that while time seems to be whizzing by at lightning speed, it also feels like the specific moments I can distinctly remember over these years could add up to a lifetime already lived. Maybe the art of learning to cherish the special moments was a gift given to me on this journey, or dare I admit, perhaps a life lesson I didn’t know I was need of learning. But I digress... Addie if someone would’ve told me 9 years ago we’d be celebrating just getting through the grocery store, sitting through a movie, eating out at a restaurant as family, or someone getting their socks on all by themselves - I’d say they’d have a great career as a comedian because that’s just silly...but here we are - cue the confetti! It’s been 9 years since you raced into this world like Usain Bolt (literally, it was like the fastest delivery in human recorded history and almost on the side of road on US 1...)! 9 years of your infectious joy and blessing us with the predictably unpredictable life that we’ve grown accustomed to. 9 years of a journey we didn’t expect. 9 years of us learning from a child about what’s really important in life.
“Our children can be our greatest teachers if we are humble enough to receive their lessons” ~ Bryan McGill. Over these years I’ve come to realize people are fascinated and genuinely curious with things that are different from their norm (that’s human nature Addie & it’s OK - that’s how we learn.) You see Addie, this journey is not like everyone else’s and with this I’m often asked “what is it like to have a child with autism?” Well... I wouldn’t exactly say you’ve nailed the art of whispering, so we’ve all probably increased our volume over time, and your'e basically in constant motion with stimming and bouncing about, so we’re kind of an eye catching crew wherever we go. Cue the paparazzi! Ha! Could you imagine if we were that eye catching famous - funny thought right?!
But if I'm being honest, it’s been 9 years of feeling like we're in a major motion picture (with way more episodes than Star Wars), but nobody gave us the script. An unscripted movie Addie, kind of an ironic thought because you “script” just about everything you communicate in life. What is the plot in our movie you might wonder? Living in a world not designed for you...and go!
It stars you of course, as the most amazing leading actress and is peppered with a full cast of supporting actors and extras - all equally important to the movie's success! It even has villains Addie, with their disapproving stares, glares, unfiltered comments and unsolicited advice (and Kleenex too - the evilest of them all, obviously).
We are blessed to be able to rewind it back every so often when we are in a moment that seemed literally impossible earlier in life. We can look back and say “remember when that was so hard?” and then truly see just how many mountains we’ve climbed.
They’ll be more mountains no doubt Addie, but we got this! It’ll give us just more opportunities to hit rewind in our thoughts. Just keep climbing baby.
So what does it feel like to raise a child with autism? Like being the most non-famous family out there who's staring in a movie. Our movie might not be a hallmark classic (and really more like an accurate depiction of a "Free Solo" type documentary), but that’s OK because to us it’s our very own box office success.
Here’s to the next episode baby girl!
Happiest of birthdays to you.
Love,
Mom
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