Connected

Dear Addie, A few weeks ago we were walking into church, my mind in its usual preoccupied state of wondering if I had the right fidget toys and books, or how many times you would potentially bust into "Who let the dogs out..." causing us to make a mid-mass exit when I literally stopped because of the scene before us. There was a man sitting in a folding chair a mere foot away from the wall with his Starbucks and holding his phone while on FaceTime with someone happily carrying on a conversation with one of the many names adorned on the wall in the Columbarium and Memorial Garden. Not but a few feet away a woman drinking her Starbucks leaning against the stair railing was visibly crying slipping her sunglasses over her eyes as we walked past. The short distance between them and their coffee choice gave me the impression they were together yet connecting at this moment very differently. Now fast forward to about 10 minutes later... and "Who let the dogs out" was being sung loud and proud and that was our cue to take a walk.

As we made our way back outside, we headed over to the Columbarium and memorial garden, a place your jumpy body and boisterous song lyrics know all too well. A place that holds no judgment and feels the holiest & most peaceful to me. A place that just moments before held that scene of the couple seemingly having a moment with someone who has passed on.

But I suddenly saw it differently now.

You sat on the bench and dug around in what could only be described as my diaper bag of sorts and pulled out a book. As you thumbed through the pages reading the bright colored words, I thought maybe I’d turn on the live stream mass using my phone - about 30 seconds into that you started repeating “no thank you, no thank you, off, off, off” gently pushing my phone away. Not wanting to cause you any undue stress, I turned it off and we sat with the silence of just nature around us. I started noticing the names and dates in front of me, the sidewalk that had been worn away so close to the walls I started thinking about that couple I’d seen earlier. It all seemed so different.

As mass came to an end, we saw a mother and daughter leaving, and as they walked away the daughter swept her open hand slowly across a name on the wall and then the mother followed behind tapping the same name 3 times. It looked so routine and intentional as they smiled at one another afterward. I suddenly found myself lingering in thought about these interactions we’d witnessed. Why was I so in awe of these moments? Here’s the thing Addie, as human beings we are by nature a social species. It’s true, even the most introverted of humans could have a fierce texting game to feel connected to others. Life is all about connections. Every single day we learn new skills to communicate and connect with others all while doing our best to advocate and educate others on how to best connect with you. Just because you have autism, you aren't excluded from trying to connect with people. I see a great deal of connections every day within our community and often with no words at all. Connections we feel to one another have no boundaries or timeframe, they just become woven into our being. Even a friend at one time was a stranger. Addie, I bet if we put 100 people in a room, they would all know a surprising amount of the same people somehow, springing questions as to from where or how and finding similarities while sharing stories. Whether in a folding chair at church, tapping a wall, or filtering silence of those who don’t communicate like most, we are all connected. Let us always make a point to really get to know one another, share our stories (we all have good things to tell), and find our connections. You my dear are a bright light to so many, keep finding your special connections baby girl - you’re doing it all right. Love, Mom