Dear Addie,
I think it’s safe to say that as parents (now I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say usually of toddlers) we’ve all at some point in time wanted nothing more than to just have a moment to ourselves, and to not be touch for like just 30 seconds. Don’t get me wrong that doesn’t mean we as parents don’t love our little bundles of joy, we do really, but sometimes we can forget what space can actually feel like - slightly ironic coming during a pandemic that is asking us to stay 6ft apart! Wishful thinking - perhaps.
Now let's just imagine a 100+lb, tall enough to look you in the eye, bored out of their mind child (far from toddler years) wanting all of your current attention and some of whatever is stockpiled for tomorrow. Grabbing and turning your face directing it towards them only to have a stare down with a said child who thinks their mommy is a wizard of a mind reader, and words aren’t necessary because of her wizard status. And hey if you were planning on doing something - I mean like anything at all, laundry, dishes, making dinner (hot stove alert), or even if I dare go to the restroom, they are going to be one of two things: your roadblock or shadow.
Just so it’s clear, you are the child in reference my love and I am said wizard!
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Give me a minute. Or I'll even take 30 seconds! Please, Lord.
This week was a true test of patience. Having just come off two weeks of fully stimulating, structured camp - we were back to camp casa Menzo and trying to fulfill a sensory diet worthy of your approval and nothing seem to be good enough.
You see Addie, parenting a child that requires a tremendous amount of extra needs, I'm going to say particularly in your case - sensory needs, is pretty challenging. You can’t just give options of things to do when you're bored. For example, go draw a picture, read a book, do a puzzle, bake something, watch a movie, ride a bike, explore the woods and trails, take a nap (oh what I would give for a family nap time!) etc., it almost always requires supervision and parental support somehow. There is no parent break in this. Even when you're just playing in the backyard there's always that moment of - did you just put a Japanese beetle in your mouth?! We have to always be on our A-game. And a side note if you are not in our sight and it’s quiet, that generally means you’re up to something in a mischievous kind of way.
This week you wanted only three things 1.) to play in the hose 24 Hours a day 2.) to go for a ride in the van or Jeep or 3.) to eat short order cook style. That’s it. To really drive home these were how you wanted to spend your days you would freely step in front of me, pull my arms, push my face… anything to get my attention to direct me to assist you towards any of these three things - backyard, garage, kitchen...etc.
Now I know that doesn’t sound like a struggle or something to complain about - I mean let’s be honest playing in the hose was something we did as kids all the time, seems innocent enough, right?! Wrong. The problem with any of these things is you do them all in excess. So, for example, the amount of water and money wasted on supplying your very own personal water park adventure feature in the backyard and the flooding of the neighbor's yard means we have to set a time limit of 5-minute increments throughout the day. To say that you are pleased with this set up is a tremendous understatement.
It’s turned into me guarding the outdoor hose spigot like it’s some princess in a tall tower and I’m the evil fire breathing dragon warding off anyone trying to save her. I’m the evil villain here Addie between you and the water spigot - add it to my resume.
This standoff happens about 10-15 times a day without exaggeration. Lots of screaming and wrestling. I can’t even imagine what neighbors must think of us fighting over the hose as they walk by. Oye. We sure know how to make an eye-catching scene out of anything Addie.
If this princess and the dragon standoff isn’t happening, you are stomping behind me, 9 times out of 10 in someone else’s flip flops, asking for food or directing me to the garage to go for a ride.
Your “pizza! Make a pizza! P-I-Z-Z-A, pizza!” Repeated over and over and over again is the equivalent of some kids saying “mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy.” The only difference is that the mommy repetitiveness is usually followed up with something simple like “I love you” or perhaps a random fact about dinosaurs (or something to that effect). Your pizza rant is usually followed up with me making the pizza and then you asking for “make a shicken (chicken)!” Yes, another meal… no dinosaur facts here. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh. It’s enough to leave me twitching a bit.
This week Mama may have needed a couple of extra deep breaths as we were adjusting to yet another routine change being away from camp. Just another reminder of how quickly routines can take shape and how challenging setting structure can be - especially during summer when for most kids it’s a welcomed break from routine. We know life is confusing and especially hard for you right now. No matter how many deep breaths I may need to take, we’re gonna get through this together.
We’ll find our peace Addie, but until then, how about that family nap time?!?
Love you baby girl,
Mom
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