Dear Addie,
I came across a picture of you this week and all the memories came flooding back. It was taken shortly after your “official” diagnosis and I remember feeling so lost on where it was we were headed, stressed that I wasn’t going to be able to provide all you probably needed, and angry at the hand that we were dealt. Never one to openly ask for help I knew this was all about to change. We needed people and I'd come to realize that a big part of this journey is finding them along the way. Something I didn’t know then is that the journey goes both ways and I like to think that just maybe they needed you to.
I’ve seen it. There’s a way you look at people that makes them feel like they are the absolute most important person in the world. The infectious smile that you flash that melts one's heart, when you are angry and yell but still have to be touching an arm, leg, or foot of whoever is on the receiving end of that vocal outburst as if you’re saying I trust and love you enough to share my emotions. The songs you sing, games you play, or comfort you find with just that one person and no one else - I’ve seen it. It’s special.
It’s a journey of therapy, appointments, weighted blankets, compression sheets, medication, coping, endless research, struggles, and so much you never thought would be part of the parenting game, but it’s also so much more.
Back then I didn’t realize that as much as people were going to play a role in our journey, you would play a role in theirs because just maybe they needed you too.
Love you Ad.
Mom
Comments