Dear Addie,
And then it was time to ease our way back into the world.
With you haven fallen sick at the end of February (for a solid two weeks) and a global pandemic resulting in a shutdown of life as we knew it, it’s been a good 3 months since we’ve felt what was our “normal” routine. But this week it changed a bit and we were finally headed back to our home away from home, occupational therapy.
I was a bag of mixed emotions being excited to finally feel something familiar, a little fearful of a virus that we are still all trying to safely figure out and waiting to see if our “exposure is key” progress would suddenly see significant regression. Won't know unless we try...mask on, let’s do this!
Side note: This couldn’t have happened at a better time because your auditory distress was at the forefront on this day - You were quite irritated with all sounds - TV, dogs, Clara’s Tourette’s, you name it, it annoyed you and you weren't afraid of showing your screaming displeasure. Sorry neighbors.
Without saying as much I could tell you were maybe feeling a little conflicted about our outing as well. Excited to “go play Brigid” as you say, but you also decided to grab your blankie for the car ride which meant there was a fair mix of anxiety going on with you too.
Nevertheless seat belt on, clutching tight to blankie you were ready.
We pulled up, you realized where we were, happily set blankie aside, and jumped out - I thought OK this is going well.
We walked in and you immediately scanned the lobby and started happily stimming - you knew this place and with no other families there the waiting room was all yours!
You belted out a loud “Er - ER - Er” numerous times before stating “sing a song! Sing a song?! This was your way of saying you were excited to be here. You proceeded to sift through a small basket of books ultimately settling on Brown Bear before plopping down in my lap for a quick story before Ms. Brigid came to take you back.
Within a few minutes, the door creaked open, and you wasted no time bolting your way in! Brigid barely got a "Hi Addie" in before you whizzed past her- you were ready!
I sat there wondering if this was my new normal for therapy? Would I have other parents to chat with about our kiddos while we waited or were this silence and face mask my new companion? I didn't even hear you back in the room. No offense but you're kind of a diva and you tend to use an octave that lets us know your true feelings about whatever you're being asked to do - not always but let's just say I know it's you when it happens. 45 min later you came out not skipping or bouncing per your usual, but more of a saunter completely relaxed and tired. Yes, tired, literally yawning (smiling, but yawning.) You obviously needed this more than we thought! The last 3 months have been such a hodgepodge of finding a good sensory diet for you and adjusting to a new “normal.” We’ve had some good days and we’ve had some days where we all need a good cry and to just try again tomorrow. It felt food to be back in our happy place, getting exactly what you needed.
I came across a reading this week that said: “seeing an old friend is like finding a lost treasure” - this week therapy was our old friend Ad, the lost treasure we really needed.
Addie sweetie I don’t know how long it will take to ease back into finding all of our lost treasures, and perhaps we won’t be able to even find all of them and maybe that’s OK - because maybe there are new treasures out there just waiting for us to find them.
Nobody ever expects to have to take measures that our country has the last few months, it forced a pretty hard reset on just about everyone. And while I can't speak for everyone I think we personally, our OTOD, needed this in our lives. Sometimes it takes a hard reset to see what was really important and also what's not.
Baby girl I have no idea what treasures we will and will not find easing back into the outside world but don't be scared, because we're gonna do it together.
...and it's OK if you want to bring blankie along with you ;)
Great job Ad.
Love,
Mom
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