Dear Addie,
As long as I can remember, you sister and brother Clara and Gabe have always enjoyed us being at their schools or events that were special to them. Whether it be field day, choir concert, art show, baseball or soccer game, or dance recital - we made it a point to be there. If we couldn’t both be there, daddy or I would do our best to be there by ourselves.
While they know they are loved and supported always, our presence was, and is, always the icing on the cake for them. I mean who doesn’t love a cheering section right?!”
Now I’m not gonna lie, while we have tried our very best, it’s easier said than done. Addie there was a good two-year window that I felt like we were at the school weekly and I, being a stay at home mom (at the time), was really envious of the two-working parent families that seemed to attend everything looking so picture perfect. I always felt like I was rushing in, shirt on backward with two mismatched shoes on the wrong day (I wasn’t really dressed like that, but it felt that way.)
Can't find your mom? Oh, she's the hot mess in the corner - yes getting out her camera that she's about to find out doesn't have an SD card in it. Side note: I hate to admit it but that has happened more than once. Daddy, usually coming from work may have had the appearance of someone with it all together, but we know better, right? :)
It’s true, most times our presence didn't represent the typical cheering section, with your early onset sensory issues in large crowds - it was all too much for you to handle. We often found ourselves perched well beyond the crowd in what felt like a field of nothing, but we were there.
With whatever mess I personally found or felt myself in, Clara and Gabe seemed to only love that we were there - and that's what mattered. Kids are kinda awesome that way! Mommy is always Mary Poppins and practically perfect in every way in their eyes. I’ll take it! When they’d ask me after whatever it was I was there for “did you see me mom?!?!” all full of excitement and the biggest smiles plastered on their faces, I could say “yes, yes I did!”
They knew they were loved, they knew they were supported.
Fast forward to present day. 3 kids, 3 different schools, 3 different schedules, 2 working parents and often times in 2 different states - for us...the struggle is real. Having said that, this past week was Special Olympics and neither dad or I were there. The stars didn't align, our schedules were all overbooked and we just couldn't make it happen. If you happen to look through the crowd for our love and support that day, it was absent in the flesh, but hopefully you knew in your heart we were with you.
This was heart breaking for mama.
You see Ad, I know as parent we can’t do it all, I get that, but when you have children such as yourself that you know really thrive on routine - which is about to be disrupted, are overly sensitive to sensory distractions - which are about to be plentiful and may need the extra support and encouragement, it’s hard not to worry or feel bad when you can’t always be there.
Who would be there to show you the support you needed?!? Would you feel abandon somehow at our lack of presence? It ate away at me all day. Then I was reminded that while we have plenty of challenges in our day to day life, the dream team runs deeper than just our party of five.
As I was at work rushing around per usual, my phone started to chime, text messages were coming in. Now I don’t normally check my phone at work, but with you not being at school and your recent elopement issues, I had it close by that day. It was your teacher. My heart stopped for a second with me thinking the worst, but then I opened it up...
You were on a break for lunch and she took the time to send me a few pictures and an update on how well you were doing!
Addie I almost burst into tears. Yes of course I had asked if at all possible that someone snap a picture, but I’ve been there, I know it’s “all hands-on deck” so I wasn’t anticipating anything but an update at the end of the day.
This was a pleasant surprise indeed.
You were doing great and even snagged yourself a 1st, 2nd and 3rd place ribbon in your events this year! Way to go baby girl!
Still a little bummed I missed the excitement, I felt better knowing you had done well (no major meltdowns), and your teacher was equally as proud of you.
Fast forward to after school and I had to swing by the vet to grab a Rx for Ruby. As we were waiting for the receptionists to run our credit card I was desperately trying to keep your hands out of your pull-up (it was hot and you had peed, so I’m certain it was uncomfortable and you digging around in it had me thinking my hypothesis was accurate - Dear Addie: I wouldn’t be upset if you wanted to use the potty on a consistent basis anytime now. Just saying.)
Anyway...
As I was trying to keep your hands in the open and out of your pants, a young girl (maybe 5th grade) and her mother came in. We shared a smile, mine was seemingly exhausted from playing WWF with you and this pull up dilemma, while I thought theirs was more like - we’ll be sure to bring this encounter up tonight at dinner. I mean you don’t see this scene happening too often!
After a minute or two the young girl said to me “did she have Olympics today?” I said “As a matter of fact yes she did! Special Olympics!” She asked genuinely interested how she did and seemingly not bothered by your trying to adjust your pull up...I went on to tell her how great you did taking home a 1st, 2nd and 3rd place ribbon. She was really excited for you and then she said “I go to Oakview and we cheered her class on in the hallway!”
My heart melted. Addie I wasn’t there, but your school was behind you, supporting you, showing their love. Not just your teachers, but the students too.
I’ve said it a lot, but your school is amazing. Fact.
I know as parents we can't be everywhere, maybe it’s God’s way of slowly preparing us for one day letting our babies fly solo in this crazy world, but it's just a completely different feeling when your child can't give you the play by play. There’s no conversation of which event you liked the best, or how the bus ride was. We’re just not there yet. Perhaps that’s why the visual presence just means so much to me.
So Addie, this past week we couldn’t be there, but with all the worry and guilt I may have had, there was no shortage of love and support thanks to your amazingly “owl”some school.
Great Job Ad! We’re very proud of you.
Go Owls!
Love,
Mom
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