Dear Addie,
I took a trip down memory lane this morning and went back to the beginning of these letters. At the time, you were an inquisitive 5-year-old, and as your parents, we were just starting to make sense of so much but yet still felt wildly unprepared for what was to come - So, you know, much of the same as today except you are older and much bigger than Mommy now and while we have an idea of things to come we still haven't found the crystal ball yet! Addie, I wouldn't be mad if you decided to slow down on growing for a bit, but I digress.
In the past 8 years, we have discovered so much life together and yet we are just scratching the surface. We've had our fair share of ups and downs, we've laughed, we've cried, but our goal of making the best life possible out of a world that wasn't designed for you remains the same. We will continue to work through challenges and find our joy wherever and whenever we can.
We are and will always be One Team, One Dream learning life together in this crazy world.
We all love you so much Addie.
Mom
(1st letter posted June 10, 2016)
A Big Muddy Mess Of Joy
Dear Addie,
There was a time where seeing my child covered in this much earth would've sent me into a sheer panic. Even now, the first thoughts that cross my mind are "how will I clean all this off of you and your clothes? Will I be able to get those stains out? And - I should take you home for a tubby immediately!"
But then I think how sad it would be to rob you of something that brings you so much joy. This big mess of mud brings you happiness and calmness in what is otherwise a life of constant movement and stimulation.
Darling, you may not realize this, but your little body does not process movement or things you touch with as much sensitivity as others. Which is funny, because you are super sensitive to things you hear (more on that to come)!
Because you "under process" (medically called under sensitive sensory processing), things you touch, you really love the feeling and texture of intense sensations, like a big, puddle of sticky, thick, goopy mud - covering you head to toe!
To make matters better (or worse), you have an added complexity to this type of fun. Ad, you have what is called a Pica deficiency which makes you want to excessively put things in your mouth in your constant search to supplement your body with more iron. You don't even realize that is why you eat dirt, chomp on ice, and chew on rocks. That soupy mess of muddy Mother Nature is as much a craving to you, as a nice big glass of red wine is to me after a long day - super enticing!
The fact is that your body lacks a tremendous amount of iron, and although we do our best to supplement that with your diet, your brain is smart enough to know that dirt has the minerals you lack. Although I don't condone you eating fistfuls of dirt and mud, I most certainly understand why you crave it.
So again I ask, why would I rob you of something that provides you so much sensory input that you desperately seek and need?
I'm not a doctor, I'm just your mother and have lived through a few years of this behavior now, so I hope I've explained this well for you. Let's be serious you're not hurting anyone!
Sweetheart, one of the best things about motherhood is when I get to witness my children experience pure joy. So my sweet girl, although we may not share the same love and affection for mud - I get it (and perhaps I'm missing out).
Keep playing Addie, there will always be enough soap and water when you are through.
Love,
Mom
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