Dear Addie,
And then it was Christmas. A day we’ve been waiting months for. A day full of love and excitement! A day when in our little autism world, we have no way of really knowing how these festivities are going to play out. A day that can be a sensory overload for even a neurotypical person leaving it that much harder to process for individuals like you. Having said that, sometimes it’s funny how we gauge growth on this journey. I distinctly remember last year, one day shy of 10 years old, you actually sat with us for the first time and opened a few presents. It was a very big deal and we were all completely overjoyed by it. It was a moment I often wondered if we'd ever see - and that's being truthful, not dramatic. Spoiler alert Ad - I’m a mess of a human and anytime we actually share these uneventful, easy moments as a party of 5 I’m almost always an emotional puddle of feelings, and yes I cried that year. I'm sorry baby girl, I can’t help it. The night before the big day this year I wondered, maybe even hoped and prayed, that perhaps we’d get a repeat performance?
Christmas Day:
With a family that is consistently up before the sun, it seems as though every year we are granted some sort of Christmas miracle involving sleep with nobody up before 8 am. No complaints here! That is unless you’re Finn the beagle, he doesn’t believe in this miracle and still wakes me up to tend to his needs whatever they may be. But where was I… oh yes, Christmas morning. We all made our way downstairs and the chair, I thought without question, we bought you, that was too big to wrap, the same chair you love at speech therapy, was going to give you such glee when you saw it – and 3, 2, 1…nothing. I remember thinking alright predictably unpredictable is alive and well this morning. Let’s see how this goes!
Alright, let’s start a little slower - stockings.
You actually sat on the couch with Clara and Gabe pulling out treats & small toys from your stocking before providing a bit of comic relief for the rest of us when you tried putting the stocking on your foot like a sock. It was super cute, but also super appropriate for how you see life through your eyes. It looks like a sock, so clearly, it should go on your foot. Autism almost always comes with some literal thinking which leaves me to wonder what you're thinking of the rest of our holiday traditions. Like, why do we have trees (we have 2) inside that look like they should be outside? Why does one of them have snow (it's fake) on it? It’s 70 degrees outside, obviously, there's no snow outside, is there a weird weather vortex in that corner of our house!? Why are we filling large socks with treats and toys? Or why are we giving each other gifts to celebrate someone else’s birthday (happy birthday Jesus!)? Why are we ok with a stranger with a red suit entering our home while we sleep and why are we so ok with it that we even leave him cookies to do so!? And the giant inflatable Christmas dragon – did Jesus really like dragons or something? So many questions, I’m sure.
With your stocking opened, you grabbed a handful of your beloved pink squares (pink Starbursts) and headed into the craft room for some downtime. Ok - mark it Ad, so we are only 5 minutes into Christmas and you have left the scene! All joking aside, while it was only a short amount of time, this engagement was fantastic in our little world and just a reminder of how far you have come.
You popped back into the living room here and there, opened a gift, inspect it and then gently toss it at… Gabe. Apparently, he was the target for the day. All fun and games for you as every time you did this, you would stim & giggle before bouncing your way back to the craft room. This whole opening gifts event seemed more of a game to you than anything else.
Addie, you may not have sat with us and opened gifts as I had hoped, but you had fun doing things your own way, and the best part was there were no meltdowns or tears! Score!
With Christmas festivities wrapping up, it was time to start preparing for another big birthday the following day – yours! Now with big parties a little too much for you to handle (and COVID) we packed up and headed off to your happy place at the beach to celebrate as a party of 5. The fresh sea air and outdoor adventures were just waiting to welcome you to your 11th year of life!
We hiked the Oregan Inlet, and thanks to unseasonably warm weather you splashed and played in the sound, took in the sights of the Elizabethan Gardens, and even drove through a wildlife refuge where our hopes of seeing alligators, red wolves, and bears was busted but didn’t leave us completely disappointed when we spotted not one, but two giant bald eagles perched in trees as we were leaving! We finished off the night with yet another year of my dear friend making you an awesome chocolate piñata (or chocolate smash ball as we call it) and a bowl of “a-brown ice cream” - candle included.
…and then you were 11. May all your wishes come true sweet girl.
I love you Addie!
Mom
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