Dear Addie,
Ever since you were super young you’ve always had this unique ability to get your needs met without ever uttering a word. Now having been your mother for almost 10 years I truly believe that autistic individuals like yourself seem to have a better relationship and understanding with their body and mind than most. The differences come in how to make your body and mind function in this world that wasn’t exactly designed for you. Being an early crawler (and climber for that matter) you sprung from your crib and down a flight of stairs at just 7 months old - in a real James Bond kind of stealth-like fashion mind you. After we recovered from the initial shock and heart palpitations of this event, we quickly realized that our response of baby gates was almost comical, and dare I say amateur to your thinking that a gate was really going to stop this crib escape mission impossible act. Move over Tom Cruise.
Baby gates no matter how fancy or expensive only managed to give us a few extra seconds before you’d make your great climb, effortlessly scaling over them. Side note: It took years for mommy and daddy to learn to sleep with one eye open but I digress…
There was also a time when mommy and daddy thought potted plants would be an awesome addition to our house! Seems normal right?! Wrong. One look at an indoor forest and you thought of only one thing, Bon appetite! Dirt = yummy! Turns out you had a pretty severe PICA deficiency and your body found the extra iron it needed in that gritty treat. Years later we’d also discover that the grittiness of sand and dirt provided extra sensory feedback that you enjoy so much in your food choices even still today. Oye.
You learned quickly that you could guide our hand (in your hand) to what foods, drinks, or toys you wanted or needed. Even bringing us a diaper and wipes when you needed to be changed (that still hasn't waivered at almost 10… fun times.) The potty is ready and waiting - just saying Addie.
You, my dear, are a true testament to "Where there's a will there's a way." For as much assistance as you tend to need on a day to day basis, I think people would be shocked to see just what you can do and accomplish all on your own. How you innately have been able to listen to your body and mind and take care of your needs, or at least try to is really incredible to witness baby.
This week I noticed you deliberately putting yourself in situations where your head was upside down. While I have noticed this behavior on and off throughout the years, this week I noticed it more frequently than usual and it got me thinking. Was this just you being cute and silly or was there something more to this?
(Note: The picture of you in the van was when we were waiting on daddy picking something up in the store.)
You see Addie you have what’s called a sensory processing disorder - which for the sake of not getting too technical or confusing medical terms, that means your senses are a little jumbled compared to that of most people. But no fear my dear with a good sensory diet containing good movement and routine we can keep you calm and regulated. Or at least that’s the hope.
Now back to the question at hand - why on earth are you hanging upside? Have you suddenly taken an interest in bats and opossums? I kind of doubt that theory based on your love/hate relationship with animals, but I think it’s more along the lines of listening to what your body needs. A reset. Wouldn’t it be super cool if we had a reset button? I mean seriously… having a bad day? Just push the button! Tired? Push the button! Ok again back to being upside down.
Sounds kind of weird right? A reset of your body telling you the floor is the ceiling? While it might sound strange, what I've discovered is in actuality the reasoning is brilliant Ad! And thanks to you I literally just realized why I like the hanging upside down in the ragdoll position at yoga so much!
Here’s the thing, we all have something called a vestibular system, I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned it to you before, but it is the part of our sensory system that helps us with balance, spatial awareness, and the overall coordination of movement and balance together. Sounds simple enough. Your particular vestibular system is often said to be “under-responsive” hence your craving of deep pressure & movement - lots and lots of squeezes and lots and lots movement all to keep you from becoming MADdie or SADdie.
Every single move we make stimulates our vestibular system.
Now the organs that control the vestibular system are located in the inner ear and that unique pressure or a heavy dose of stimulation of blood flow towards the top of your head when hanging upside down (in small increments of time mind you) can do wonders at providing exactly what you need when other activities seem to be falling short of helping you with self-regulation.
So while we continue to try and find a balanced sensory diet in this unusual time in our lives, you’re doing what you do best and listening to your body's cues where it’s once again directing you on what it needs. Upside down you go! Cute, silly, beneficial! Check!
Addie I don’t know what it feels like to have a sensory processing disorder, but I do know what it feels like at the end of the week having my body tell me it needs a reboot of balance and calm. For me, I'm lucky enough I can get that from a yoga class (disclaimer I’m not very good at yoga but you don’t have to be to get the benefits). I imagine having SPD your body isn’t telling you it needs a reboot like mine at the end of the week but shouting rather every couple hours - Reboot! Reboot! Reboot! That must be crazy frustrating, but you are handling it well sweet girl. I honestly probably wouldn't have as much grace as you.
If flipping upside down finds you balanced and calm, then namaste baby girl. Namaste.
Love,
Mom
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