Dear Addie,
I've said it before, and I'll say it again: this journey has more than its fair share of challenges, but it also reveals the simplicity of joy at its finest. Sometimes I feel that autism is particularly challenging for you because you have a type of brilliance that forgets nothing. When some of us say, "Remember when..." and we have to dig way back in our memories to vaguely recall something, that way of thinking almost doesn't exist for you. You are still doing, loving, or even despising the same things in a repetitive cycle. Although you are growing up, losing some of your babyish features, and adopting new, older appearances every day, your mind isn’t losing anything; it is simply gathering more to file away, adapting coping skills for a world that wasn't designed for you.
This past weekend, after spending a few days sheltered from an icy winter blast here in the South, we decided to venture out for a bite to eat in our local town. Anticipating that others might have the same idea and that it would be busy, we packed your headphones, sensory activities, and extra clothes, hoping for the best.
After successfully waiting a good 20 minutes we were finally seated at a table and with it being our go to place a familair face was our waitress. Everything was going good - you immediately took to your sensory putty, while we engaged in convrersation. A few moments passed, and you began to smile at Daddy, giving him the well-known cue that you wanted him to make you laugh. Side note: Daddy always brings the laughs; he's a fun and funny guy. Anyway, he stretched out his pointer finger and slowly moved closer to "bop" your nose—a game of engagement and joy that you’ve loved for years...like all your years. I couldn't help but smile watching this interaction as it brought you so much joy and I had been watching this same joy for so many years now.
Addie, when we began our parenting journey 19 years ago, we had no idea what to expect. Our main goal was to raise good, kind, and happy individuals who would contribute positively to this vast world. Fast forward to today, and while our goal remains largely the same, I've realized that this world can be cruel and can break you if you let it. Therefore, it is essential to remember and hold on to the things in life that bring you joy, as I believe they are vital for a successful life.
May you never lose the ability to find joy in the smallest of things.
Keep smiling baby girl.
Love,
Mom