Dear Addie,
2016. It was 2016 the last time you visited a dentist. Now as embarrassing as that may be to admit as your parents, we had our reasons for why we had not been back just yet. You see Addie, it was traumatic to say the very least. Literally for all parties involved. For someone like yourself that has some pretty severe sensory and auditory struggles - the sounds, bright sterile lights and people being uncomfortably close was just all too much to handle. Not to mention at this time, yes at 5 ½ we still had been rather unsuccessful at getting a toothbrush anywhere near your mouth. I mean I totally get it! I’m not a fan of the dentist myself and I had to have a root canal unfortunately not too long ago. It took quite a bit to get me in there to get it fixed. Side note: My root canal went amazingly well and our family dentist office (which is not where you went) is amazing.
But I digress.
I get it. It’s not pleasant. Or at least that’s my opinion. I did however run into a mom years ago that had mentioned she was having a dental appointment to fill a cavity later that afternoon and she said she really just enjoyed the alone time doing something for herself. For the record I tried everything in me not to furrow my brow in a look of confusion as to how somehow could find getting their teeth drilled something considered mommy alone time? I prefer the spa or a pedicure, or a milkshake from McDonald’s. To each their own I suppose.
As your parents we knew this was going to be difficult, but we felt it was necessary as we didn’t really want to add any sort of infections to what can seem like our already full plate on this journey. Truth be told we had been resulting to good ole natures toothbrush of apples for 5 years, so in my mind you were somehow going to need dentures at the young age of 6 and it was all our fault! Seriously, I saw dentures and a therapy bill in your future for some deep seeded dental drama issues. My mind is super-efficient at wandering Ad.
Our first visit wasn’t exactly a shoot from the hip look up a pediatric dentist in a phone book kind of thing. We did a lot of research in finding someplace that would be able to handle individuals with challenges. Now I probably sound like a broken record by now, but again if you’ve met one person with autism, you did just that, you met one person with autism. Everyone is different. Now please don’t misunderstand me, the staff was very kind and understanding at this particular office, and we got through an exam & cleaning with a whole lot of people, some restraints and a tremendous amount of parental guilt for the traumatic events we had put you through. To try and find the bright side to everything, our using apples as a toothbrush seemed to be working because you didn’t have any cavities at the time. Not gonna lie Ad, for a girl who loves her some sticky pink starburst or “Pink Squares” as you so affectionately call them, and also chews on rocks, no cavities or broken teeth for that matter was just the good news we needed to close up this chapter. And scene.
Fast forward to present day 2021. A few weeks ago, at church I ran into our friend and family dentist (again for all of us but you) that had inquired if I had found a place to take you for another visit just yet? Truth be told I have been finding anything else to do but go to the dentist with you since that good news appointment back in 2016, but I knew deep down inside we were only going to be able to dodge the cavity bullet for so long, so her inquiry probably came at the perfect time. She informed me about a new place right across from their office that she thought could help us.
Insert The Little Tooth Co. making an appearance on our journey.
With having just had a behaviorally successful trip to our happy beach place that proved to be dramatically everything but happy during spring break I thought we made some progress there so why not pack up our dental anxiety fear and give it another shot. Maybe just time was what we needed and this would be great? Maybe?
I called to set up the appointment and honestly, I probably sounded every bit of crazy because I was still just certain this wasn’t going to go well. While we have made significant progress (with a lot of therapy) in getting a toothbrush in your mouth, you are also 5’4” and 130lbs now so the feisty 5 ½ year old that didn’t like the dentist in 2016, was that much bigger and significantly stronger. After listening to me rehash our past dental trauma the receptionist offered an option of coming in during lunch when the office was closed to let you walk around and get to know the layout and process. My still wildly apprehensive mind thought, well, let’s give it a shot and just see what happens.
I picked you up from school and the whole way to the appointment I just keep talking about the dentist and brushing teeth. By the time we arrived I felt confident you understood where we were as you kept repeating “Oh, brush my teeff!” over and over again.
We walked in and honest to goodness, the waiting room was perfection. It gave off the vibe of being a pediatric office without being overstimulating with colors, characters or toys – which can be challenging for kids with autism. We were greeted by Cindy who was as friendly as they come I promise and ready to take our temperatures and ask us what has become the standard Covid questions. After a few very short minutes the dentist herself and the dental hygienist came out to start walking us slowly and calmly through the process heading over to the teeth brushing sink for starters. Here you were able to wash your hands and we showed them how we brush your teeth at home. I think it was at this point that I stopped grinding my teeth for a moment under my mask because it was going surprising well and I swear their voices were so soothing you immediately felt at ease.
After you brushed your teeth, you allowed them to rub (or paint) some pink stuff on your teeth which is used to see what yuckiness was missed. There were a few spots but honestly it wasn’t as bad as I thought it might be. One more brushing and a rinse and we were moving on.
Next up we were shown what I would call the row of community style exam chairs and then the private exam room for those that may need less distraction. You also stayed predictably unpredictable of course, and wasted no time at all finding the phone on the wall, making a quick attempt to call lord only knows who. Seriously what is with the phones Ad? I’m starting to think you may have a stellar career as a receptionist.
We ended the tour in the photo room where you managed to get a quick selfie for your file and a green balloon. If they only knew how far you’ve come with balloons this was enough reason to celebrate today.
As we were wrapping everything up, there was the discussion on next steps and if we wanted to try a tour again or go for scheduling the cleaning appointment? I felt like at this point maybe we should just go for the cleaning, but leave it to me to let my doubts take over and I immediately started asking what we would do next if we just couldn’t do it? Remember it was 2016 when we dodged the first cavity bullet? I mean could we really be that lucky? Surely some serious dental work needed to be done now?!
The dentist in her calm and soothing voice reassured me that she really liked to do things with as little intervention as possible and honestly felt confident that you could do this, but we could cross that bridge when we get there. So, with that we would be back the following day to give it a go.
Basically 12 hours later, we were back at it and you were off to the races like a professional. Temperature, teeth brushing sink, tooth painting, rinsing, a solid attempt at making a phone call and we were in the private room. You sat in the chair and slowly surveyed your surroundings. I wasn't sure if you had really taken it all in the day before, but in this moment I legit thought this is where everything was going to fall apart. You could basically sum up the décor in this room as – elephants. Yes Addie, elephants, the one animal you have the most love/hate relationship with, but while I could tell you were weary, there seem to be no fight or flight on the horizon.
Ok, let's do this!
To get you to lay back in the chair they put your favorite - the Princess and The Frog movie on which played from a TV affixed to the ceiling (genius.) You thought that was pretty cool for a minute but then abruptly wanted in off. In an effort to keep you engaged and ease your mind about the next steps of looking in your mouth, they brought in an alligator for you to look at his teeth with the little mirror and give a good brushing too. They were by far doing the most fantastic job I’ve ever seen of meeting you on your terms and before I knew it, they were doing your whole cleaning with you sitting up instead of laying back because you didn't seem quite comfortable doing so just yet. I never once had to step in to help keep you calm, nor did you try to bolt. They had no idea because they were so focused on you, but I started tearing up at it all. I just couldn’t believe my eyes and of course felt bad about doubting the process. And just like that you had your teeth cleaned Ad! I mean it literally happened before my very own eyes…and once again no cavities.
Addie, you did it. Like really did it. I wrote you a letter a few weeks ago in the midst of some of our worst behavior struggles to date on this journey and all I wanted was answers and options to help you that led with compassion. This Little Tooth Co. I’m confident works because I promise you compassion is how they lead their care. EXACTLY what I had been praying, looking and hoping for.
Great job Ad. YOU DID IT! Now let’s do it again in 6 months 😉
Love,
Mom
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