Riding The Wave

Dear Addie,

We have been riding this wave of calm for a few weeks now, but like any wave on this journey, I still can’t help but feel a little anxious that we are going to come barreling into shore at any moment - and not in some graceful professional surfer way, but more like a salt water up your nose, bathing suit full of sand kind of way.

It’s true Ad, you’ve been doing great, like really great actually. So great that only one phrase comes to mind – “Don’t rock the boat!” Not exactly a phrase that goes well with that old tried and true autism advice on this journey of exposure is key.

Ugh, so now what? Can’t we just stay in the house forever and only leave to enjoy the beach? Sounds reasonable right?! Well, the unfortunate answer to that is no, so we must indeed risk rocking the boat, because it’s actually what’s best for you. So, let’s get rockin!

First up, the grocery store. For the record, I have not taken you inside an actual grocery store since spring break when Gabe and I had to physically carry you out due to an epic meltdown. God bless curbside pick-up! Now since we were easing our way back into this grocery scene, I decided to go to the store that had an adult special needs cart known as a “Caroline Cart” that I could strap you into. Seemed like a no brainer to me and all was going well until I was taking to long untangling the buckle before you could sit down, and just like that - off you ran like a wild laughing hyena into the store. Giggling and looking back every step of the way as you thought you were super funny playing a game of chase around way too many glass jars. Spoiler alert Ad, Papa was with us and eventually caught you, and mommy didn’t think it was very funny. BUT I was however grateful that you were just having fun and not really melting down – so even with a game of chase and all, I chalked this one up as a win.

Next up, Lowes Home Improvement with daddy. Not too shabby here other than daddy said your need to forever practice being a receptionist was strong – what is your obsession with phones Ad? Every aisle that had an associate phone you either picked up or attempted to pick up and dialed 1, 2, 3 on. I bet the store thought they were being pranked and it gave off some serious Buddy the Elf vibes from when he would answer the phone with “This is Buddy the Elf what’s your favorite color?” But again, no meltdown, so yet another win in the books for you here.

Here’s the thing Ad, stores can be stressful, but are also an easy exit if necessary. Restaurants however are a bit more difficult and a true test that was about to be our next adventure. Deep breaths.

You see Ad, going out to eat is a different game of patience. There’s a lot of waiting that has been traditionally hard for you to understand… Waiting for a table. In your mind, why can’t we just sit with this family that is already enjoying their food? Insert agitation of others doing what you want to do. Waiting for food. In your mind, I guess we are eating ice, no problem I love ice! I’ll just freely stick my hand in each glass at the table to get some and collect any fruit garnishes anyone may have – thank you very much! Waiting for the check. Clearly, you’re more of a fan of the dine and dash! In your mind you think - I’m done eating, now we should go, no bother if everyone else is eating or waiting to pay. Historically either daddy or I would take you to the car or to walk around outside while everyone else finished up and yes paid.

Can we do this? Can we ride this wave of calm into restaurant dining on a busy beach weekend? Only one way to find out – let’s do this!

Insert Mulligan’s Grille in Historic Cottage Row, Nags Head North Carolina.

To say I was anxious about going would be an understatement. We were however going with a larger group of family so I felt the safety in numbers, but with that also comes a bit of guilt in case the you know what hit the fan and we needed to make a dramatic exit. Truth be told, this is our life, we are accustomed to being stared at when things go crazy, it’s never comfortable, but it’s part of the journey. Not everyone is familiar with that type of attention, and we always try to be cognitive & respectful of that – even if it is our loving family.

With this being a very well-known restaurant in the OBX and just about everywhere struggling with lack of staff the wait was over an hour, but luck was on our side as our house is only a few blocks away and they were going to text us when our table was ready. Ok, so the waiting for the table problem solved- check! So far this is going well and we haven’t even stepped foot in the restaurant yet!

Once we received our text, we took your bag packed with everything you might need from a clothing change to sensory friendly toys and headed straight into what I was sure would be our greatest challenge as of late. I fully anticipated that our barreling toward the shore was impending at this point.

We arrived and the hostess wasted no time showing us to our table, but much to our surprise it wasn’t just any table, it was a table on the upper deck with the most beautiful view of the ocean. Now don’t be mistaken they didn’t give us this table because we were anything special – this was only part of why this restaurant is so sought out for people to visit – the absolutely gorgeous view!

Our waitress was literally right behind the hostess ready to take our drink orders. I ordered you your usual ice and a side of lemons (a sensory dream combo for you) and she not even thinking it was weird (or at least not outwardly showing it was) that we ordered you just ice and not an actual drink, then offered you an option of crushed or cubed ice – ummmmmm mark it Ad, that’s never happened before! Crushed ice coming right up!

I kid you not, I felt like we blinked and our drinks were in front of us. Not to disappoint in collecting like objects you quickly snatched dad’s orange wedge from his drink to add to your fruit wedge collection in front of you. Knowing where this was going Aunt Andrea, Uncle Ted, Papa, Nana and your cousins all freely donated their fruit garnishes to your collection 😉.

Completely entertained and satisfied with your ice and the fruit salad you had collected in front of you, I had yet to reach into our bag of tricks to sooth any agitation or occupy any restlessness. Our waitress seemed to have a keen eye in noticing whenever your ice was running low as well, bringing you a fresh glass before we could even request it. This was going really well, maybe we weren’t going to crash into the shore after all?

Our food arrived and OH MY GOODNESS it was amazing! Like seriously good! We now know why this place is always so busy! You happily ate your salad and burger without fuss and even continued collecting like objects with the cherry tomatoes that were in your salad. We ate, laughed, paid for our meal and enjoyed a fabulous restaurant without a single incident. This place was fast, friendly and had great food to boot! Definitely Autism friendly and Addie Approved in my book!

Addie, I’m happy to report we haven’t crashed into the shore just yet, instead we rode the wave to a table with a view and I’m so glad we did. It was awesome and we’ll definitely be back!

Great job baby girl. Keep it up!

Love,

Mom