Dear Addie,
There we were in your happy place, walking to look at the ocean waves, and you started…” Elephant! An Elephant! Elephant!” A word that is our cue that something is wrong and you are now feeling anxious or uneasy. Your mood went from zero to a hundred in seconds as something had unexpectedly triggered you, but what? Communication during these times can feel like it took a back seat and is a seat in a car driving around in a completely different city. Insert the parental super sleuthing game. We were walking, and then we were not. No black-and-white answer, just sadness. Sadness for how you felt and sadness for us that this is part of your life. This chaos, no matter what we do or prepare for, lays in waiting, ready to pounce when we least expect it. Did you see, feel, or hear something? Were you hungry, tired, or sick suddenly? Were we inching toward this moment and somehow missed it? It is a reminder that no matter how well things may be going, it will always be predictably unpredictable.
Our happy stroll turned into redirection again, again, and again. These moments become a trial-and-error waiting game before it is finally resolved and peace is restored. Still, even after the restoration, the day is now strictly introverted as your sensory system becomes more heightened after these events. Parental guilt at its finest that we're never fast enough, even if it’s over quickly. No parent wants to see their child this upset for even a minute, let alone an hour or longer, which has been known to happen.
I am happy to say we figured out that perhaps you were hungry, or your blood sugar might have dropped suddenly, as about twenty minutes after lunch and some good decompressing time sitting outside alone, you were ready to try your walk again and were much happier.
This past weekend, we were reminded of how quickly things can change on this journey, making round two of the walk to the water that much sweeter.
We love you very much, Addie.
Love,
Mom
Photos: Round two
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