Dear Addie,
Last week you didn't feel well. You were a flat out SADdie - which makes our whole family SADenzo's (OK wait, maybe that doesn't work the same as SADdie, but you get the point...nobody's happy!)
Mommies (and daddies too) are given this magical parenting power called intuition. Intuition usually lets us have a pretty good idea of what's wrong when you're not feeling well. We also usually have a good idea how to comfort you until you are feeling better.
This week my intuition went out the window! We could not figure out why you were feeling so bad, and worse yet, how to comfort you. SAD Mommy!
Quite frankly, when you become SADdie, it turns into the guessing game of what's "wrong with Addie?!??" I mean most of the time, I can't even tell if it's going to get worse before it gets better!
You can't use words to tell me "mommy my stomach hurts" or "I have a headache" or "I'm just feeling like being raging 6 your old hellion for no reason." You know, the usual... so we end up having to wait until more symptoms arrive as clues, or it passes.
This guessing game is really tough on me baby, because all I want to do is make you feel better! This week was a especially tough one, because although I say you were SADdie, It's really more accurate to say that you were acting "off." Not exactly sad, but just "different." Aside from the horrific challenge of keeping the contents of your stomach in... well... your stomach, you were actually quite happy. Just, off.
Let's talk "big picture." In general, I know your mannerism well, and know when you are "off." But being "off" isn't really a symptom for most things other than something's not right.
For example one week you might be sleeping more...
Perhaps you're going through a growth spurt? Or...it could be... Strep throat! God forbid we have to Swab for that!
I often have to resort to my good ole' hand on the forehead for a temp check (the thermometer is just torture for everyone involved.)
Just recently we were in the ER for a possible concussion (sigh). Let's just say they really weren't prepared for the full SADdie experience. A prerequisite to working with us should've been a successful run on an American Ninja Warrior obstacle course! After 2 attempts at it, we never got the CT scan that we were sent there for in the first place. BUT, you definitely proved your strength and commitment to the cause (the no way in hell am I getting in that thing cause). It may have been the longest 4.5 hours of our lives! Totally spent.
Adding more fun to mystery ailments, your pain tolerance is much higher than most children your age or heck people in general.
Let me tell you my dear, there was one time when we were living in Texas when you were limping around for a few days. You weren't crying, or really overtly complaining too much, just moving slower than normal with a rather obvious limp. What on Earth? What did you do baby? Well, couldn't be too serious I guess or you'd be crying more I suppose. Hmmm. Well, it turns out that you somehow managed to dislocated your hip! What!?!? How!? Ouch!! What in the world?!
How did that even happen?!?
I should clarify the mystery pain fun is only super fun (clearly I'm joking here) because your physical pain tolerance is super high leaving most aches and pains you get when sick or hurt just absent for you to even register. We only know you're sick when it's too late and your covered in vomit, but your sensory pain tolerance on the other hand can be overwhelmingly low, leaving us back to the drawing board on what sound for example may have sent you into a trembling mess of tears curled up in my lap yelling "time out" repeatedly in hopes the noise will just go away.
So while I've never been very good at guessing games, I will keep guessing and perhaps failing until I figure it all out.
In all the confusion and frustration these times cause, you still seem to find comfort in being curled up in my embrace and that is your safe place without ever having to speak a spoken word.
So while I still may be searching for answers when SADdie arrives, know my love is endless and I will always be ready to hold you when you need me to.
I love you Addie.
Love,
Mom
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