Show Me Teeth

Dear Addie,

It’s that time of year again (or a time we haven’t seen in a hot minute because of homeschooling), but the rite of passage is back and it’s school picture time - say cheese!

That’s right Ad it’s that time when parents put their kids in outfits they wouldn’t normally wear to school and take a bazillion pre-pictures before the professionals go to it. Oh, wait maybe that’s just me?! Perhaps, but can we talk about the packages we are to choose from to commemorate this event – yikes! Somewhere along the way the marketing department got a little overzealous and teamed up with popular online photo companies where you can now get an assortment of goodies with your child’s photo on it ranging from keychains, to body pillows, to potholders - ok maybe that’s an exaggeration but it’s a little ridiculous. I love your sweet face and all but I don’t need it to grab a hot pan with it, seems kinda wrong and weird - just saying.

For myself, the package options are always a fun mind game. I know deep in my heart I should just order 1 8x10 but then I’ll suddenly get a fleeting thought of giving out all those 5x7’s, 3x5’s, and wallets to everyone I know. The reality of the only photo being purposed being the 8x10 snaps back into my brain only after I’ve already purchased the rest of the photos that will inevitably never leave the envelope. Ugh every year I swear! Well played school photo company, well played.

This year however we took a different approach. Don’t get me wrong I still dove headfirst into buying my super package of pictures, but we went with a more realistic approach.

It started the night before with your hair, it needed to be washed, and that in and of itself could be an Olympic sport. We chose a shower over the tub to avoid the Shamu type splashing about the bathroom and to save my back from bending over to rinse, lather, and repeat with your beautiful locks. Not gonna lie, halfway through the shower I realized with you being taller than me now, my arms were getting sore holding them up so long, I totally understand the use of a salon chair now. If there was no chair, I kid you not I think every hairdresser would have Popeye the sailor man arms, but I digress. Hair washed – check! Off to bed you went and now it was time for me to create some sort of picture-perfect outfit…and go.

If I’m being serious for a moment, we are in a stage of life where t-shirts and stretch pants are our go-to clothes. With pull-ups and endless potty training, it’s just easier than anything with buttons or dresses for that matter! One might be surprised by the dresses but for someone who is still trying to learn the art of the potty, there’s a pretty high chance that dress is going to get dipped in the toilet. Nothing like a mid-day clothing change - No thanks. I settled on a blue cotton t-shirt to match your eyes and of course some stretch pants. Outfit ready to go – check!

The next morning, we were well on our way into the hustle and bustle of our usual routine and it was time to do your hair. As beautiful as it looks down, I knew it was dancing with the devil on it staying that way. You see Ad, you wear headphones off and on throughout your day and sliding them on and off your head it leaves your hair somewhat knotted and how do I say this – less smooth or resembling something that looked under control?! Add in any potential drool or inevitable remanence of snack and lunch – oye. I could however pack a brush and ask your teachers to give it a good once over before your picture, but that’s not really their job, so up your hair will go and it was in this moment that is when I decided this picture was going to be a pic of the true you baby girl. Hair up on top of your head – check!

You weren’t into any sort of pre-picture photo shoot mood on this morning but were definitely “all in” on eating popcorn for breakfast – autism is fun that way. I brushed your teeth not once, or twice, but three times because I didn’t want you to have popcorn kernels in your teeth. But every time we brushed them; you went back for more...hence the multiple brushings. I decided if you wanted to have a "kernel-ly" smile for your 5th-grade photos then so be it!

Cotton t-shirt, clean hair top knot on your head, surely a mouth full of kernels, my excessive amount of photos picture package purchased and we were ready!

Let’s do this!

We practiced “show me teeth” for smiling in the morning carpool and off you went for what’s sure to be our most realistic picture yet.