So Much Newness

Dear Addie,

Sometimes it’s truly hard for us to tell if you hear (or understand rather) what we are saying even in what can be perceived as the simplest of day-to-day conversations. Pair that with us spewing endless chatter of “moving to a new house” these days and we can only hope it’s sinking in. Having a child such as yourself that craves & thrives on structure and then us drastically changing every ounce of that comfort by moving isn’t exactly anything anyone sets out to expose their child to – but here we are.

We’ve spent weeks talking about the “new house” your “new room,” and your “new school” so much newness I've caught myself even questioning if we were doing the right thing here? It was enough to make me anxious so I could only imagine what you were feeling?

We’ve visited the new house a handful of times now and each time we’ve referenced and showed you your room, just hoping somehow it was sinking in, that this would (God willing) eventually be your new comfort, your new structure, your new normal. Each time has been wildly similar in very little reaction, just a calm, somewhat blank stare at an empty room. Not bad just not much of anything.

Well, this week dad decided even with renovations taking place that maybe we should take some baby steps in this transition with some of your toys. Now for someone who is very particular in where and when certain toys are played with it was anyone’s guess how this would go, but I was leaning towards this going sour quick – then again, I’m a horrible gambler so…

Daddy took a small bag of toys from our current house over to the new house, placed a few of the items on a shelf in your room, then sat back, waited, and watch to see your reaction. Traditionally this would’ve sparked an almost immediate response of anxiety, causing you to feverishly put everything back in the bag angrily squealing and stimming in sadness. When things are out of context, it can be very stressful to process. Now don’t be confused daddy wasn't trying to be some evil villain character here, he wasn’t doing this to upset you, not even close! He was doing this to help you rather for the impending days ahead where all your belongings would find their way here.

There he sat, waiting and watching quietly.

You walked over to the bag, looked at the shelves, and then proceeded to finish what dad had started by placing the remaining toys up on the shelves. No crying, or outward anxiety, just you in control of placing your things where you thought they needed to be.

Addie on this journey it's so hard to recognize if our communication lines are open with the nontraditional methods of understanding one another. It can forever feel sometimes as if our signals are all getting crossed or our lines are just static, but if this journey has taught me anything its actions can speak louder than words. You’ve understood the whole time.

So proud of you Addie.

Love,

Mom