Sous Chef

Dear Addie,

I think it’s pretty safe to say that as humans, even without what are considered the traditional means of communication, we have our own innate way of getting our needs met. You have always been a visual learner and even at a very early age, in our non-verbal years you would take our hands and guide us to exactly what you needed. While ever so quiet, you were also observant and would watch our every move - milk comes from the refrigerator, popcorn the pantry, ice cream the freezer ;), you could guide us to exactly what you needed (or wanted) when you couldn’t find the words to do so.

Fast forward to today and you’ve gained more language and communicative techniques but it is often used in a very unique way.

What does that mean?

Well, most often you like to play teacher and we (the OTOD) are your students. It’s true! When children are young it’s not uncommon for a teacher (or therapist or even parent) to use the phrase “show me blank” where we hope the child produces the right answer. You took that same technique to heart when asking for certain meals. For example, you’ll say “show me tacos!” Or “show me mac-n-cheese!” In an effort for us to produce the correct answer or meal for you.

Well played Ad.

Of course, over time you developed “make a chicken” (or shicken as you call it) or “make a pizza!” All stemming from the teaching of “make a match” hoping in your technique of “make a blank” that we once again as your stellar students produce the right response of the food you are asking for.

Let us also not forget the influence of storybooks, movies and tv where you could pick up phrases. This is where a lot of “scripting” comes from. For example, when you want a salad it could be referenced as such or as just “a lettuce” by definition of what it is, or my personal favorite as “a nice cool salad.” But don’t forget “dippy duck” that would be a side of ranch that stemmed from us calling anything on the side of a meal like ketchup, ranch or sauces “dippy” when you were all young. It didn’t take long before you began connecting that the name dippy who is actually a duck character in many educational writing videos hence ranch is now called “dippy duck.”

Language is hella confusing but when you breakdown exactly what you are doing it just proves how very smart you are my dear. You are using techniques that are used on you and also connecting a lot of dots along the way. While sometimes this can lead to some serious detective work on our end, you’re doing a great job at this communication thing and we can without a doubt say it’s never a dull moment around here.

It’s no secret that autistic individuals have a unique relationship with food and while there’s a thousand different theories as to why, I think you use it to provide some sensory feedback needs. You like super strong flavors, very hot or super cold food, and the crunchier the better - raw onions, apples and carrots are your fav! Those all provide good sensory feedback for you and your hyposensitive sensory system (not to be confused with your hypersensitive auditory system.) I also think there is a lot to be said about feeding our feelings or emotions rather when you may struggle to communicate those, oh, and let us not forget nature. Our bodies have a way of telling us exactly what they need like when you used to eat dirt all the time which led us to discover your PICA deficiency. Your body was telling you it needed iron. Our bodies need food and water so those are often the first and easiest (if you could say that) things children learn to communicate.

Now you’re probably wondering why I bring all this up? Well in the past couple of years you’ve not only played teacher in your request for meals but also sous-chef in actually getting all the ingredients out. Right down to the correct measuring cups & seasonings! It’s super impressive Ad. I guess you want to make sure we get the correct answer and don’t screw it all up lol! With your ability to do this it just proves your unique observance once again.

This weekend we had a pizza night and with that we ordered you “a nice cool salad” but when it came there were tomatoes on top - not unusual for a garden salad. Now tomatoes are a weird texture and not exactly a strong flavor so honestly not something you’d care to eat, but they were all the same and we all know you like to collect like objects so you gathered them up and went outside.

Now we pick and choose our battles and you taking a handful of tomatoes outside on a casual pizza night didn’t exactly present any worry for me.

You came in and out of the backyard a few times before I had realized what you had done. With your nice cool salad sitting relatively untouched I thought I’d have some so I went to get a bowl out of the cabinet that just happens to be near the stove, that houses our iron skillet, which was now full of milk and your tomatoes.

What in the world?!

My guess is you went outside and thought about what we use tomatoes for and a staple dinner in our house that uses tomatoes and heavy cream actually is Tuscan Chicken Pasta - seriously SO good. Obviously, you didn’t want them to go to waste and could only think of one use, so off to the kitchen you went. Good thinking Ad even if it did waste a whole lot of milk and God bless the locking mechanisms on our stove top. Oye. You might not be totally ready for the Chef responsibilities just yet baby girl😉

Addie, you my dear are always keeping us on our toes.

You'll always be my little sous chef.

Love you.

Mom