Dear Addie,
Fun fact: You don’t ask questions. Often, there is a time in a child's life when they thirst for knowledge and ask their parents "why" thousands of times a day. It happen with both Clara and Gabe, however, with you, this inquisative curiosity never came. It’s as if you have accepted everything at face value and simply filed it away in your mind for future reference. As a result, processing information in response to questions can be challenging for you. For example: If we said "look up at the sky Addie!" pointing up towards the sky you would scan the scene to see perhaps at the time it was blue, has clouds, birds flying in it, the sun might be bright, airplanes might also be present - all of that equals "sky." Maybe the next day you look up and see it's gray and perhaps rain is falling - add that to the file as well. So to talk about the "sky" your mind immediately goes to the file "sky" and finds all those things to filter through in a conversation, leaving you to wonder what it is one wants to know about the "sky?"
When you were younger, we'd say, "Good night, Addie," and you would respond with, "Bye-bye! All done! See you soon! Shoes!"—all in one breath, every time. It was kind of wild, but when you break it down, it really made sense.
In your mind, the phrase "Good night" meant you were ending the day and going to bed. So, you associated going somewhere with the word "bye." You said "all done" to indicate that your day was complete, "see you soon" referenced leaving but meant you'd return, and "shoes" was included because we would often put on shoes when it was time to leave. All of that was filed away in your "good night" category because you were leaving to go to bed. Do all the words make sense to us in your file system - probably not but it's your system, not ours.
Over time, you learned to process through the words and find the right ones to use. In the beginning, though, your instinct was to say them all, and that's how conversation felt for you. It's important to remember that it took you years to learn to talk, so everything you observed or heard was just being filed away in your mind. Trying to filter through everything to find a response can be overwhelming sometimes, I mean language is pretty expansive in itself. Add in that you can understand a decent amount of ASL and even attempt to use it with our deaf friends truly speaks volumes of your awareness and intellagence, but let's just say we understood your slience at times as filtering through all that information is a lot of work.
Another fun fact: "bless you" was your first words said appropriately after someone sneezed in the car. I can remember it clearly, and I still recall the excitement in Gabe's voice when he said, "Mom, Addie said that!" as we were all in shock and awe.
Fast forward to today, and not much has changed. Sometimes the files can be a bit overwhelming, and you may not be sure what response someone is looking for. For example, if I ask, "What did you do at school today?" you were there for five hours, and a lot happened. This can make the "school" file so full that it becomes stressful, and while filtering through it, you might even forget what you were looking for in the first place.
To make it easier, the questions need to be less broad. Instead of asking a general question, I could ask, "Did you see friends at school today?" to which you would respond, "friends, yes!" This allows me to create subcategories, and from there, I can ask more specific questions, such as what their names were.
It's also important for me to remember that after spending 5-6 hours filling out that school folder, it's essential for you to take a moment to decompress before diving into it. I believe this applies to all school-aged children. While we, as parents, miss you deeply when you're away and want to know everything that happened in our absence, it’s equally important to give you some time to process your day.
Now having said all that, not all questions are particularly difficult and require careful consideration. When you're asked about something right in front of you and you know the answer, it brings you great happiness & joy—much like getting a word right in a spelling bee. This joy has inspired my thoughts this week.
There have been several evenings this week when you've wanted to read a particular "shapes" book with Daddy. It's a book you are very familiar, it has bright colors, and lots of pictures. We've actually had this book for years; it was a series that we purchased when your big sister Clara was a toddler, but I digress. Over time, they have served as a great benchmark for how much your engagement and speech has improved. We have progressed from you merely listening, to answering questions about the content on the pages, to now reading it with enthusiasm.
(Closed Captioned version)
Addie this weel you were all about reading one of your favorite books with Daddy and as I sat there listening and watching, I couldn't help but be overwhelmingly proud of just how far you've come on this journey.
Keep working hard baby girl! You're crushing it on so many levels!
Love you!
Mom
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