Dear Addie.
And just like that, it's Autism Awareness Month. The month I’ve always had conflicting feelings about since beginning this journey - weird right?
Allow me to explain…
You see Addie, the autism community uses the month of April to help spread awareness and more recently, acceptance for people with autism. Along with your diagnosis came a lifelong commitment to advocacy and I’ve always said if I can educate just one person on something they didn’t know about autism, then I’ve done my part. The truth though, autism awareness is not just one month for families like ours, it’s every month. It’s every time we leave the house. It’s every stare we feel. It’s every door we walkthrough. It's every door we don’t walkthrough.
I don’t think anyone says, “wow I can’t wait to have a month where I can teach people about our existence and hope to educate them that we should belong.” That literally doesn’t happen, but don’t be misled I’m grateful for any exposure having walked this journey and truly realize how important this month actually is.
I can speak to our challenges, our joys, our differences, (or our similarities) for days, but something about the word “acceptance” got my mind swirling this year. My initial reaction when this addition to the titled month started circulating was to overthink it. A quick google search will tell you that the definition of acceptance is “the action or process of being received as adequate or suitable, typically to be admitted into a group.”
Ummmmmmmm hold the phone, what group are you not “suitable” for? I thought once we were born, we were part of a giant group known as the human race? Did I miss the memo somewhere? It’s a huge group Addie, but somehow you and even us as family need to be deemed “suitable?” We are not all clones; differences are what make us all unique. Even in a choir, the sopranos and altos are wildly different but they come together to make a beautiful harmony. Asking for acceptance just felt really sad and like we needed permission to be part of the choir. Like we couldn’t possibly, no way no how harmonize with the group.
But here's the thing Ad, we don’t need permission to be here, the acceptance we are seeking is for those who are not only aware of who we are and our differences, but also a request for them to welcome, no better yet, embrace us - differences and all.
We need people to see the big picture of harmonizing together. We need people to see us as part of the choir. The great Temple Grandin said it best when she spoke of being different, not less. We need to be seen that way by others.
Addie, it’s Autism Awareness & Acceptance month and not only this month but every month I will continue to celebrate you. Yes, I said celebrate. It is far, like really far, like a land far far away far, from an easy journey, but the strength, perseverance, and joy you exude every day is such a beautiful example and worth celebrating.
Continue making your beautiful music Addie, the world needs it.
I love you,
Mom
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