The Pier

Dear Addie,

Living a life with a sensory processing disorder doesn’t just affect the individual but it shapes the entire family dynamic in things we do.

I can’t tell you how many times you and I or you and daddy have stayed behind for something while your sister and brother went off to do things that potentially could have the ability to leave your sensory system feeling like you’d been to war and back. Our greatest advice on this journey has always been exposure is key but I’ve found there’s also a limit to that exposure and it takes a lot of time and patience to make progress - but sometimes slow and steady wins the race which brings us to yet another first.

Who doesn’t love live music? Well, you. But live music on a pier, at night with an ocean breeze? Well, maybe still you. Addie the struggle is real here. Things that sound so inviting for most vacationing families can be wishful thinking for families like ours. There are plenty of situations that you can’t handle and so much so that sometimes it can leave us all in distress at just how it affects you. An unknowing outsider looking in would say, just put on headphones, it’s not that complicated – oh but it is and it’s more than that.

You see baby girl those kick-ass headphones you rock are not completely noise canceling. I know shocker! They are noise reducing meaning they block out a decent amount of sound but not everything, which works to our communication benefit and allows that all too important auditory “exposure.” But noise isn’t the only worry. We have to take everything into consideration. The lights, the crowd, the colors, and even the weather - it all makes a difference. Side note: If you have ever wondered why special needs parents are exhausted, we hands-down overthink every situation the moment we wake up in the morning – which for the record might be at 2 am 😉 but I digress… On this particular first we were trying our hand at dinner with live music on the pier and we had an hour wait (which just last year would’ve been a no-go without a doubt) but you had shown such self-control and growth the whole week that we decide to give it a try.

We found a spot on the beach, far enough away from the crashing waves, and you proceeded to play in the soft sand for what felt like an eternity. It seemed to be the perfect sensory regulator for an extended waiting time as you were still seemingly happy having done virtually nothing for the last hour. With your mood, yes, an hour in, still calm our table was finally ready and we couldn’t have asked for a better spot. You see Ad we lucked out with a corner table backing up to the ocean and the restaurant and music directly in front of you. A clear concept of where all the music, lights, and commotion were coming from with the white noise of waves crashing in the black of the night behind you – it was by far the best possible scenario.

You sat for a few minutes staring at your lap before picking your head up to survey the scene. It didn’t take long at all for us to see you crack a smile and start flapping with excitement. You were digging this! Live music on the pier was your jam! You flapped, stimmed, squealed, and bounced – you absolutely loved it.

Just last year this would’ve been a whole different scene and if I’m being honest, it probably would’ve just been daddy and me, but you’ve made such great progress this year that we were able to enjoy it all together as a family and what a great memory it was.

We are ALL so very proud of you Ad.

Love,

Mom