Dear Addie,
I cleaned the sofas.
We purchased these sofas a few years ago, and with kids, pets, and life, I was so excited that I could remove all the covers from pillows to cushions and wash them. However, I underestimated the time and energy that goes into such an endeavor. At the end of the day, nobody notices but me and it will just look like a regular old sofa to anyone else. Nevertheless, feeling pretty boss about my sofa cleaning excursion somewhere in the day, I realized that I had inevitably dropped the ball on something. My pride in my accomplishment for the daunting task of cleaning the sofa is now swept under the rug as I only focus on what I've forgotten and who I've let down. This is what I call the vicious cycle of unnoticed chores. It now looks like I've spent four hours doing nothing but ignoring what I was supposed to do instead of four hours of cleaning something no one will notice and accidentally forgetting to do something I should've done. Ahhhhhh. It's not that the chore itself needs any recognition for its completion; it's just one of those things that takes a lot of work to go unnoticed by almost everyone. It's not like we walk into people's homes and immediately rave about the cleanliness of their furniture. It just doesn't happen. The people living in this house probably wouldn't notice if I had not said anything. It's not like it looks crazy different; it just feels and smells better, and I personally know it's sanitized and clean. Now, on top of this cleaning extravaganza, there is a laundry list (quite literally, though – I'm convinced when I open the pearly gates of heaven one day, a washer and dryer will be there waiting for me) of other things to do, including bathing, feeding and ensuring you don't pick up anything off the ground you shouldn't! Side Note: Large Orb-weaver spiders will bite when they feel threatened. Come to find out, you are a threat. The things we know now. But I digress.
As I put the sofas all back together, it got me thinking about our journey. It sounds silly, doesn't it? Stick with me.
You have and are working so hard each and every day to exist in a world not designed for you. When we do seemingly ordinary things these days, nobody will know all the hard work that went into getting to that moment or this calm chapter we are experiencing. Most people will see us as a sofa, nothing more. Nothing less. They will never know the extensive work of getting to this moment. They will never see our covers stripped and cushions thrown about - The therapy, the exposure, the tears. They will only see the sofa. They will, however, notice any mannerisms that are out of the norm, like consistent stimming, taking your shoes off where shoes are required, or greeting everyone within earshot with "Who let the dogs out?" It sounds weird, but not everyone is a Baha Men fan. People are not good about hiding their judgment either, Addie. I feel the ball drop with these people, and begin to feel small and less proud of our accomplishments.
Addie, here's the deal - we are not sofas, but so much of the work that went into that task reminded me of how much work goes into everything you do, and only a few see that part. It's easy as humans to feel discouraged when we forget things; perhaps something doesn't go as planned, or a complete stranger makes you feel less than, but never let that discredit the amazing work and accomplishments you've had. You want to know a secret Ad: Everyone has their version of the sofas. It's true!
While so much of what you do may go unnoticed by the outside world, we have a front-row seat and are so proud of you. Remember that always.
Love you.
Mom
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