Dear Addie,
There’s going to come a time in your life when you are granted a reason to see things from a different perspective, good or bad. In return, it can give you many reasons to be thankful for the journey you are on.
Addie, I think it’s safe to say the last few years have been anything but normal. We’ve all experienced loss in one way or another, and while some of that loss was hard in our grief, some felt weary, and some chose to dwell - in dare I say a place of anger - all of it has warranted us to hopefully gain some thankful perspective (perhaps) we were all in need of?
Perspective is a beautifully humbling thing baby girl. Having said that, I don’t think you’ll ever hear me say this journey is easy, it’s no secret that our days can be quite complicated actually, but we’re grateful to have them.
It’s always your choice on how to react to things in your life. Remember that always.
On this Thanksgiving I find myself being particularly thankful for a decision we made years ago…
You see Ad, a while back, a way younger version of daddy and I thought to throw caution to the wind and move around a bit – away from family, taking advantage of new exciting career opportunities while raising our young family. I’m not gonna lie, some of those moves left us questioning how much caution perhaps should’ve been thrown, but looking back on all of it now, we were exactly where we were intended to be.
When we moved to NY you were just a baby, and while we knew things seemed different compared to your siblings, we were still in a state of limbo on the realization that life might not be the journey we had envisioned in our head. You were getting older, taking on behaviors that lead us down a road of endless evaluations as we tried to find a name to the wonder of the journey that we know now in front of us – autism.
I remember this time in our life so vividly because it literally felt like a hurricane of changes and emotions coming at us in those two short years. We moved where we knew no one, had small children, oh and how can we forget that hotel living situation – oye.
Somewhere along the way in all that chaos, we befriended a family of one of Gabe’s friends from preschool. I’ve spoken of them before and how put off I was that the mom didn’t even respond to me when I was trying to talk to them as they were leaving one day. This story does have a happy ending though, I’d soon realize Gabe’s new friend was CODA and her parents were deaf. That was almost 10 years ago and here we are still friends today.
You see Addie, this amazing family showed up in our lives right when I didn’t even realize we needed them. They were the calm that our chaos was seeking. Now before I continue, I think it’s worth mentioning that special needs families don’t have the easiest time making family friends. We can resemble that of a wrecking ball to any situation and sometimes that unpredictability can be unsettling for some to handle. We get it. Trust me. Our house is loud, it’s clean for like 5 minutes a day so consider yourself lucky if you catch a glimpse, and we probably overshare about everything & are pretty blunt about it at that. We preach kindness and live it to our core but don’t have time to sugarcoat anything. We don’t usually have a long list of friends lined up to share a beach vacation with. I mean let’s be honest it looks more like a WWF wrestling match in hot sand rather than beach chairs and watching children frolic in the waves. But it is what it is and sometimes we are blessed with friends that grow with us and are just ok with what is the dream team we’ve created.
We have since moved from NY to TX and back to NC where they have visited us in each and every state. They are friends who love us, flaws and all, whose expectations are as simple as sharing each other’s company without some planned, extravagant adventure, with the possibility that they may just be bored. It’s what some would call a “framily.” or friends who have become our family.
This Thanksgiving I’m thankful for our dear friends, that first impressions clearly aren’t everything and for the love and grace they continue to show us year after year.
It’s been 3 years of text and face timing, but this week we were finally all together again. Embracing the simplicity of each other’s company. I’m thankful we moved all those years ago and more importantly, they stayed. They stayed alongside us after all these years.
Embrace the journey, baby girl. It will lead you and those meant to walk alongside you exactly where you need to be.
Love,
Mom
Happy Thanksgiving to you and your framily!