Dear Addie, "And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about." ~Haruki Murakami I came across this quote this week (you know how I love a good quote) and this one in particular hit home and got me thinking. There is so much in our lives right now that seems unrecognizable. While most of it is out of our control, ultimately what we own in all this is how we choose to handle it. Now I can’t speak for all special needs families but a lot of us, literally overnight, had to figure out how to keep our children thriving when what was helping was ripped out from underneath us. I mean what do you do when a diagnosis that comes with its best advice being “exposure is key?” and all of a sudden exposure isn’t an option? Don’t get me wrong, for a family constantly on the go we have truly enjoyed our scheduleless (I may have totally just made up that word) time together. While health and safety were obviously important, it wasn’t just about baking homemade bread or learning new card games - the struggle was real on how to manage developmental, behavioral and sensory challenges at almost every minute of the day. How to exist without the supports we (more importantly you) had grown to rely on and seem to need so desperately. All of a sudden our gut instincts were “batter up” and it felt like sometimes we were just barely staying in the game. Last week I admittingly had a breakdown about an epic tantrum you threw. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that it was probably not our finest of moments in the Menzo house? The jury is out on that I suppose. I spoke about the numbness in our reactions as parents, the mental and physical exhaustion, and the sadness of reality in the challenges that will probably follow us well into years where we thought our babies would be flying the nest. The thing is Addie this journey can often seem like we are continuously standing at the edge of the pier wondering if the storm is over? Is there another one on the horizon? Should I grab an umbrella? Is that a hurricane barreling toward us? Or can I muster up enough energy to just dance in the rain? I’m sure a lot of people can relate to this in our current state of life during a pandemic. This year has definitely been one for the history books and is shaping up to be more of a placing most (if not all) of our eggs in the “trying our best while maintaining sanity” basket. With your amazing teachers killing it and forging ahead successfully teaching and interacting in daily zooms full of students that some might have thought couldn't navigate such a thing, and we were fresh off of mama breaking down over your bathing suit tantrum, we thought a change of scenery might be just the energy reset we needed. Life is full of lessons Addie. Life lesson 2,020 (see what I did there?!) in any crappy situation, look for the positive.
So what was our blessing in this current storm of pandemic life and behavioral tantrum - have school, can travel. That’s right, Ad a luxury with virtual schooling is it can literally be done anywhere, with a WiFi connection that is ;).
Being blessed at this point in our lives with the opportunity to pick a new zoom setting, not just digitally but physically for a moment and virtual schooling for all of you, we packed up and headed for our happy place - the beach. Here we come!
Ad sometimes a different view of things can be just the energy boost you need in life.
Now having said that, it’s important to know that one can’t run away from the storms life throws at us, Addie. Our chaos doesn’t just disappear, not even close baby girl, it tends to pack a bag and travel right along with us wherever we go.
One might wonder why we go anywhere then?
Well I’ve always thought a change of scenery often gives us an energy boost and it turns out I was kinda spot on in my thinking!
Researchers in a study posted in the Journal of Environmental Psychology noted that simply staring at an image of natural scenery for 40 seconds was enough to trigger the brain into a more relaxed state.
Did you hear that Ad? More relaxed state...um yes, please!
It went on to talk about how beyond this feeling of relaxation, subjects who stared at the green meadow picture in the study as opposed to the concrete roof performed significantly better in a test of attention after the initial session; they made fewer mistakes and were less distracted all around. That was just images Ad! Can you image what the real deal could do?!
I’m sold. Sign me up.
So this week we changed our view a bit. It definitely wasn’t free of challenges, and you still managed to make my heart jump with some nail polish, but managing the storms that come our way in a different scenery gave us (or me at least) the confidence needed to relax a bit and just dance in the rain.
Here's the thing Ad, as exhausting as some of the storms we weather in life can be, I gotta believe they shape us into the people we are today. I've not always reacted the way I thought or hoped I would when the waters start to churn, but life is full of lessons and opportunities every step of the way.
There are going to be a lot of storms in life Addie, but it's not all doom and gloom, keep a lookout for the light because it’s there that the most beautiful rainbow will shine from it.
Love,
Mom
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